
And we wish all the TIAns' a Very Happy 4th Anniversary :)
Warm Regards..
Organizers
Uma
Prasanna
& Sunita.
Rules for Entries
o @ Work Place – 2 (In One you are the manager and in another you are the Reportee)
o @ Home
o @ Friends Circle
o @ Party or Social Circle
Judging Mechanism
NOTE: The qualification from Prelims to Finals will be done by the Organizers and their decision will be final and binding.
The RULES for the Final POLL (OPEN Judging) will be different and will be published along with the Blog.
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?
Answer:
As this is the situation dealing with the customers, also the message is not given directly, I cannot think of convincing the customers about this issue. Complaining directly with the manager about his bad body odour is a sensitive issue which needs to be dealt sophisticatedly with people skills such that the message should be given without hurting his feelings. This is the incident where face to face talking is preferred to sending email.
I will wait for the perfect opportunity when the boss is casual and in a good mood. Talking with him casually I will convey him the message indirectly by saying “ I overheard from one of our customers that they stopped their business with some company because of the bad body odour of that company’s manager during the client meetings. I think these customers give more importance to appearance and body odour. So, I am using expensive perfumes these days in order to avoid their complaints.” If my boss understands the issue or not, I hope he can understand the customers demand.
Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).
Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.
When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”
What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
Such a situation dealing with in-laws is more complicated. I prefer to have a direct conversation with in-laws describing our situation that needed another loan for the grand house warming function. I will tell them that the decision is left to them and we are going to follow it. Usually in-laws will be more satisfied if the decision is theirs and will be happy for their children giving more respect to them. If they stick to their decision of grand function, I will convey this message to my husband. If he has any issue with that, it is up to him to convince them. Being a daughter-in-law, my role is to convey messages and to follow their orders which will make everyone happy. If I choose to do a small function to save money, my in-laws will be hurt which makes my husband also feel bad. No one will understand that I saved money but thinks that I am going against in-law’s decision. As this is their family matter, I will accept their decision.
I prefer to go with in-laws’ decision whatever it may be. Dabbulu malli sampaadinchukovachu, maa in-laws happyga vundatam mukhyam kada !
Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.
Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.
How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
Our epics prescribes political methodologies, ‘Sama Dana Bheda and Danda’ to solve any issue. Without knowing the strength of the conflict, I can’t follow only one method to solve the problem. Similar to a doctor who prescribes a medicine and will increase the dosage depending on the severity of the disease, I would start with ‘Sama’ method by conducting the individual meetings with them privately. I would ask them to write the complaints as well as good qualities in each other and then exchange their papers. This may stop their conflicts. If this doesn’t work, I will start my ‘Dana’ method, by offering rewards and appraisals if they work together without conflict and complete work in time. If the conflict continues, I would show them the differences between a success team with teamwork and the conflicting team like ours. This is the ‘Bheda’ method by comparing and keeping a competition between the teams. With no positive result, last method ‘Danda’ comes into picture by threatening them that they will be fired because of poor performance, which can certainly change their attitude.
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.
Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.
Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”
PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
As I am generally soft natured and stay away from conflicts, I am not going to tell her anything. As we are family friends from years, even if I tell her softly not to criticize, she may take it in a negative manner and can start a dispute.
As the main problem is my son losing his spark, I initiate by taking him to different classes like sports, swimming, drawing, dancing etc., and also to the children sections at libraries where he receives more encouragement and appreciation. I shall take care that he is confident, shows interest and enjoys those classes without overstraining himself. Also I shall always teach him “Paddavaadu eppudu chedda vaadu kaadu” so that he doesn’t mind others’ criticizes.
This world is full of criticizes and my son needs to learn how to face them. So I want my close family friend to teach him how criticizes would be and I will teach him how to face them!
Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.
Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.
How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:
Soon the lady apologizes, I reply with a smile “Ayyo, parvaaledu lendi, dress ki dhisti tagilinte, yippudu poyintundi”. Whether it is intention or accident, incident has already happened, can’t make it set by scolding her. Remembering the quote, ‘A word once uttered can never be recalled’ , I will control my tongue. Also I accept the fact ‘A smile is a curve that sets everything straight’. My smile may not be able to make my dress stainless but that smile shows my positive attitude towards such incident. If she did that intentionally, I hope my positive attitude might bring her a change. If it is accidental, a smile can comfort her guilty feeling.
As there is no chance of changing my dress, I will try to clean the stain with little water and go ahead with the party. Good behavior with a smile makes a person more beautiful than his external appearance. So not bothering about my dress, I will mingle with everyone in the party happily with a smile.
· Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?
Answer:
This is a very delicate situation and needs to be handled with care. I will go to his office when he's free and will explain what I heard. I will clearly emphasize that the only reason I came forward to tell him is because I have great respect for him and if I didn't, it might affect the future of our company and all our jobs. As his team member, I feel it is my responsibility to go to him with what I heard instead of keeping it to myself to see what may happen.
· Situation 2 - @ Home
Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).
Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.
When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”
What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
I will go to them and explain that both their son and I really wanted it to be a low key affair. But since they insisted that we have a grand house warming, we have come to a compromise. I will tell them that while it is out of question to invite every single person we know, they can invite some very important people with a max of X people from their side. They can decide the list. It's either that or just close family. The choice is theirs. I will mention that while I have nothing against their side of the family, we came to this decision solely on the fact that its just too expensive to invite a large number of people at this point. BUT (there's always a but) we can invite everyone to Pinky's (our imaginary daughter) first birthday which is only a few months away. Hopefully, the will agree to the latter and that solves our problem. Even if they don't, its just a limited number of people, so its not a big burden on us.
· Situation 3 - @Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.
Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.
How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
I will call them into my office individually and ask them what exactly is their issue. I will explain to them that nobody is perfect and in a work environment you have to be civilized and work together. Since they are a part of a team, their bickering is not only effecting the quality of their own work, but also the rest of the team. While I will not reveal names, I have had several complaints from other members that they don't want to work on a project if both of them are on it. I will also boost their confidence by listing out their assets and how valuable they are to our team, but their true potential is being undermined as all their energy is being focused on their cat fights. They are both adults and should deal with their personal issues elsewhere and not in the office. I will tell them to have a fresh start and that I never want to hear anymore complaints and have this kind of conversation again.
· Situation 4 - @Friend Circle
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.
Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.
Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”
PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
This is a tough situation to handle especially since we are such close friends. First of all, I have to decide what is more important to me - my son's feelings or my friendship with X. As any mother, my child's feelings are definitely my top priority and I will NOT sit back and watch while he is being criticized. So, next time she says something to him I will intervene, take her aside and tell her that as much as I respect her I don't want her to criticize my son. I have started noticing that it is affecting his feelings, even though he doesn't say anything about it. If she feels he's doing something wrong then she should tell me when the kids are not around and if I feel its really a mistake, then I will explain it to him myself.
If she is really a very close friend, then even after 1-2 days of feeling bitter, she will understand and change. If she doesn't, then I will have to find another activity for my son during his usual playtime and start cutting down on our time with them. At the end of the day, what's important is the development of your child and no friendship is worth worrying about if its hindering his/her growth. You may guilty of ruining a good relationship but, its alright to grow apart after many years, and in this case healthy too.
· Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)
Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.
Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.
How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:
Even though I will be mad and disappointed at what happened to my dress, I will not make a big deal out of it. I will try to clean it up as much as possible and TRY not to worry about it for the rest of the night. All the people at the party are my friends and they have seen the "accident" happen, so there is nothing to be embarrassed about. After all, it is a dress and is not worth losing your temper in front of so many friends and creating an awkward situation for everybody. Even though I still believe that she did it intentionally, I don't think trying to seek revenge is going to help. Instead it will only make me stoop to such a low level that there won't be any difference between us. So at the end of the night, before we leave, I will go to her, smile and say don't feel bad, you DIDN'T do it on purpose...and hope that if she has any conscience whatsoever, she should feel bad for her stupidity. I think that is enough for me.
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?
Answer:
In this situation, though boss cannot take any negative comments, I would go and try to tell him what is going around office. This might take boss some time to understand but ultimately it is good for the company and the boss to whom I’m working. And only that matters at the end.
So on a good day, I will go to him and try to tell him the overheard conversation and try to explain him what customers were thinking about the next upcoming business. Knowing him personally and his nature, I’m sure might not be in a short run but in the long run he will see the difference and the words I said. If this affects me in short run, I will not be disappointed because I know the long run profit/vision and that day my effort will definitely be seen and everything will come to normal.
Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).
Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.
When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”
What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
In this case, it will completely depends on how I will convince them and how they want to take this. I will first go to them and try to explain the situation – how much cost is and what are the mortgage payments and the current financial situation. And also I will try to suggest or give idea that, once everything settles down like may be 1 year down the road, when we think that some of the payments got settled down, we will do some pooja like Sayanarayana Vratam or something like that and invite everyone for that pooja. And also if they think like if this is not the right idea, then ask them what they think after knowing everything.
If they get convinced, then that is well and happy. If they are not convinced or suggest something else, then I will definitely go with that. Because they are good people and can never think bad of their own family. And as elders of the family, we will definitely want to respect them and their ideas. If it will take a bit pain for us, it should be fine thinking this is another expenditure on the home. And be happy to do what they wish for.
Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.
Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.
How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
As a manager it is always my duty to help my people and make them happy with their jobs. So I will arrange a meeting with both as one-on-one meeting. And try to get what each of them think of the company, their job, their responsibilities and their colleagues.
After talking to them personally, I will conduct a meeting between three of us and put an open forum discussion telling them the situation and what our department is gaining or loosing because of these small issues and misunderstandings.
Since I know them personally, their strengths, their thoughts about the company and the department, I’m sure they will come to an understanding. They might not do this for themselves from heart but for the department wellness, but ultimately after working for sometime with such thinking and seeing the good results for the department and the recognition of themselves not only in the department but also in the company – they will change from heart and get their issues resolved permanently for good.
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.
Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.
Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”
PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
I will look for a time or take a time with X with no kids around and start a conversation with her reminding her all the good times. Then I will tell her the changes in their lives and how lucky they are being such good friends after marriage too. Knowing her nature, I’m sure she will be very happy to remember all those good times in this conversation. Then I will tell her what she is doing unrealized between children and especially how it is impacting my kid. Also listening to their conversation, how he is reacting at such a small age and how he is becoming reserved and losing his spark.
Since she is also a mom like me, she will realize and understand the situation. And this situation does not end here. I will then go to my kid and try to explain him that he is not a weak kid and he should be always strong, self confident and mingle with others, make friendship, play and always be happy. Also explain him that I’m there for him and also his father, family, aunties, uncles, etc. And try to explain him more frequently so that he will come out of the situation.
Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.
Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.
How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:
In this situation, I will first try to calm myself. Because if I panic or try to get angry it will just create an embarrassing moment for both of us. Then I will go and try to clean my dress in a restroom. After this, I will go to that lady and will take her to a side and talk to her calmly saying that it is fine and you have accepted her apology and assure her that it is fine.
It is natural that everyone makes mistakes. That is understandable. If that spills are very light or it is ok for some time, I will be ok to deal with it and try to cover it with the dupatta. I it is a very big spill or if it cannot be covered with the duppatta, since the dinner already started, I will have that and try to start home early.
I’m sure host will understand my situation too.
No regrets with anything. This is just a dress. We can buy another one but once if there is a break in friendship it is hard to get them back.
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?
Answer:
Some time during the leisure ,i mean around the coffee time,lunch or so.. .. would try to get into some friendly conversation and talk about the recent Adv.s coming on TV..starting from the business perspective and landing on to the recent Adv.s about the body sprays and would let him know that I heard a particular Men spray is really good....and would humorously say ..“one of my cousin/friend switched to this spray and tht led him to get more customers..and yeah!! Strangely costumers do consider the body odor ..and a good body odor would attract them :)..and may be we should give it a try!!!”..I hope he will understand....
Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).
Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.
When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”
What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
In this kind of situations..I would prefer to be a open book..I would let them know our earnings nd expenses...instead of giving a way to misunderstandings in the family...oka pakka inlaws emo dabbu vunde kani grand ga cheyyatledu anukovadam enduku??..so vallaki budget antha chepthanu..and will tell them the finacial situation..naaku kooda istame andarini pilichi grand ga chesukovadam.kani as per our current situation..may be we should keep this function simple..and in some time we will be coming out of this and next function edi vasthe adhe grand ga chesukundaam chakkagaa ani chepthanu...appatiki vallu convince avvakapothe..I would say..sare, ee function grand ga chesthe..may be we may need to compromise on many other things for next few years..choice meedhe ani chepthanu...all I need is to maintain our expenses with in our affordable limit..now or later ,that is their choice...I think as elders they will also think the same..they would not let their kids to go out of their limit and spend money....
Family ki sambadinchina issues chalaa sensitive...okka sari misunderstandings kani godavalu kani vasthe ..it will lead to many other things in future....tharvatha edi chesina tappu la ne kanipisthunde...so in real life I would mostly try to solve it with out any differences..ee okka situation kosam ani..gattiga matladi..potladi..tharvatha chinna chinna vishyallo kooda combined happiness ni miss chesukvadam naaku istam vundadhu...I would think it as a long term thing and so as the solution..
Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.
Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.
How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
In this kind of situation..I would rather be professional than taking it personal.... iddarani pilichi koorcho petti clear ga matladuthanu..”whatever may be the personal matters between you both..I cannot take it till an extent that it would effect the project/work...as long as we r at work..please try to be professional and let us get the things done on time..or else its gonna effect all of us..lets be a friendly team and do it together..it would be good for us”....ante, I would talk to both of them in such a way it is very clear that am not in favor of any one..and any decision taken by me in future is gonna effect them equally....automatic ga valle dhari loki vastharu:)...once u know u r n trouble,u will try to unite..thats the technique:)
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.
Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.
Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”
PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
I cannot deal this any harsh and let my husbands friendship end bcoz of this women issues...may be I would indirectly give her messages every now and then about how kids feel when others point out the negatives in them..like..edo book lo chadivenanoo..or inko friend cheppinde anoo...andwill take an example of some other kid nd explain her...a abbayini valla aunty yeppudu alaa pin point chesthuntee chalaa low ga,dull ga ayipoyadu anta ani...at the same time will appreciate every little thing her kid would do...over a very short period of time she will understand wat am trying to convey...all these are typical women things(need not necessarily be in every woman) and it will come to an end very soon... I think ilanti vishayalu needs a small correction and a little time...
Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.
Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.
How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:
I would really go mad in the inner side..bcoz naaku dresses ante chala istam :) nd hate mess!!..but,thats a party and I cannot act up furious..so,i will definitely control my emotions....alanti situation lo manam mood out ayipoyi,serious ayipoyi..or aa function nunde vellipothe....it will be the victory of the other lady who spilled sambar...instead of that..I would very softly nd sarcastically say..”Its Okay..u were not intentional na..mistakes do happen”..and just wipe the dress and carry it well thru the party as if nothing happened...and just before leaving the party..in the presence of this sambar lady,I would say to my friend “ abba..naa salwar ki disti poyinde ee roju..naaku chalaa free ga vunde” ani....I would take it casually and make the other lady feel the pinch....:-)
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