Entry 6 - Keerthi Cherukuri

• Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

I will try to give this feedback to my boss in one of these 3 different ways, whichever is convenient.

1. If I have the authority to arrange a presentation on how to improve our Customer relations, I would do that and invite all my team members along with my boss. In the presentation I would emphasize on how our attire would impress the customers and I would quote an example of some XYZ company which had lost its valuable costumers just because of one employee who had a very bad body odour.
2. I will try to grab an opportunity to have an informal discussion with my boss along with one or two of my colleagues and quote an example of some XYZ company mentioned in point 1.
3. I will compose an e-mail with anonymous e-mail ID and mention the problem in a very polite manner and send it to my boss. I will not use my office/home computer for this purpose. I will not mention the customer’s name too.
   

• Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

I will try to explain my in-laws our financial position and the burden we both (me and DH) have to bear if we arrange a grand house warming ceremony. I will also promise them that we would arrange a grand function later (kids’ birthday or just some other pooja etc) in this new home very soon once our financial condition gets better. Despite of this explanation if they are still adamant about their decision, I would go ahead and plan a grand house warming ceremony. I will try to minimize the costs wherever possible without having to disagree with their plans. And I will also try cost-cutting in our monthly expenses later to clear the loans. With my DH’s consent I would ask them to contribute some money for the house warming party expenses which we will be returning shortly. If they agree to this, well and good. Or else I will take it easy. After all, I want them to be with us on this occasion and money shouldn’t be a factor disrupting our peace of mind.

• Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I will arrange a one-to-one meeting with both of them separately and firstly I would praise them for their excellence in work and individual strengths. Later I will explain the situation and the problems arising because of their personal issues. I will make sure to each of them that I would need both of them to work together for our tasks to be completed on time and with no negative remarks. I would ask them to keep me updated about each and every step of their work through e-mails, i.e. that I would require a CC of all the e-mail communications between them. I will also make sure that I will be heading all the further meetings between them to discuss the work progress. Finally I will make sure that they understand the fact that if they work together keeping aside all the personality differences, our project/work would be a great success which could mean a future promotion or salary hike to both of them and also if they do not support each other, it would lead to a team failure for which everyone of us has to pay later, which could be a job-cut too.

• Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

Since X is my very good friend over the past few years, I would sit with her and explain how my son is being affected by her negative remarks. I will tell her how sad I feel as a mom to face these remarks about my son and ask her to think once being in my shoes. If she realizes her mistake well and good. If she continues the same remarks about my child I would note in my mind her comments upon my son when our DHs are not around. And once our DHs are around since she talks in the other way around (complementing my child) I would immediately ask her “Oh, You said he’s not good at so and so thing this afternoon. And now you say he’s very good at this.” I will make sure that I ask this in a lighter note and there is nothing serious. I am sure she will be embarrassed at this situation. I will repeat this twice or thrice and see if she changes her behavior towards my son. And even if this doesn’t work, I would try to avoid my son being with her in our DHs absence. I will not break the kids’ friendship, but just be cautious with her. I would make sure that this has nothing to do with both of our families’ relation.

• Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I will be very upset at this situation. Firstly I would clean the spilt sambar on my dress and try to sit near a fan so that my dress dries up quickly. I will try to manage hiding the stain with my chunni through the rest of party time. It would be very hard for me to control the anger. I might lose control and shout at her when I get a chance to be alone with her in the party and no one is observing us. But I will try my best to stay calm through the party.

If this jealous lady is my very close friend and if my budget permits I would present her with a similar dress. I will also tell her very casually that I felt very bad when my dress got spoilt at the party (not mentioning that I felt she did this intentionally). If my budget doesn’t permit, when I meet her for the next time, I would just tell her that I was upset at the party. If she is not that close to me, I would try to forgive her immature and childish behavior and be careful with her in future.