Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?
Answer:
In this particular situation, I don’t see one specific answer which would correct the problem and at the same time maintain my rapport with my manager. I have come up with few solutions, which I think I would implement if ever I am faced with the above mentioned problem.
If it is a small IT firm with a head count near to 100, then I would say that everyone works closely and HR would also be close to my group. I would try and speak with the HR person and let them know the situation. HR maintains all these complaints very confidential. I can request them to come up with a new policy, stating that everyone working closely with the company customers need to dress formally and look their best with nice odour , clean hair etc.,. This policy can be emailed to everyone and awareness can be bought. This would not affect my manager personally as this is a companywide policy and he might start taking care of his bad odour.
Just tell him over lunch that, you heard from one of your trusted resources that the client who you are going to meet are very particular about the physical appearance and suggest that we get ready very formally and be our best. As a girl, let him know that you have few tips and let him know about using perfume along with some other tips such as tie/ironed shirts etc., Also, inform others as well about your tips who work with your team for the same customer . This way manager does not get any hint that it was intended for him and he understands that you are trying to help the entire team to put their best foot forward for working with the client. Also, I would suggest few perfumes so that he purchases a good one.
Gift him a nice perfume on his birthday / occasion saying it is a very impressive one.
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?
Answer:
In this particular situation, I don’t see one specific answer which would correct the problem and at the same time maintain my rapport with my manager. I have come up with few solutions, which I think I would implement if ever I am faced with the above mentioned problem.
If it is a small IT firm with a head count near to 100, then I would say that everyone works closely and HR would also be close to my group. I would try and speak with the HR person and let them know the situation. HR maintains all these complaints very confidential. I can request them to come up with a new policy, stating that everyone working closely with the company customers need to dress formally and look their best with nice odour , clean hair etc.,. This policy can be emailed to everyone and awareness can be bought. This would not affect my manager personally as this is a companywide policy and he might start taking care of his bad odour.
Just tell him over lunch that, you heard from one of your trusted resources that the client who you are going to meet are very particular about the physical appearance and suggest that we get ready very formally and be our best. As a girl, let him know that you have few tips and let him know about using perfume along with some other tips such as tie/ironed shirts etc., Also, inform others as well about your tips who work with your team for the same customer . This way manager does not get any hint that it was intended for him and he understands that you are trying to help the entire team to put their best foot forward for working with the client. Also, I would suggest few perfumes so that he purchases a good one.
Gift him a nice perfume on his birthday / occasion saying it is a very impressive one.
Organizers Feedback:Going to the HR for such a trivial issue may be seen as an escalation and if for some reason the HR chooses to divulge your name you would have broken the trust with your BOSS.
Situation 2 - @ Home
Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).
Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.
When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”
What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
After analyzing the situation and understanding how particular my in-laws are about the function, I would take a decision. If I feel that they are very particular about the function, and as my DH too is okay with it, I will try to organize the function. I would agree with them but just not get overboard with all the stuff. I would agree for a good party and send invites to everyone but give gifts and clothes a pass. The main aspect of dealing this situation would be to deal it with patience. I would like to minimize the cost occurring to the function as much as possible and at the same time try to please my in-laws. Minimizing the cost of the function can be done in many ways depending on the family such as serving only vegetarian food and no non-vegetarian food and booze.
I would try to speak with in-laws and tell them that everyone is very jealous of our house and now giving a big party will draw unnecessary attention and bad will. Also, I will try to convince them in giving gifts only to our close people rather than everyone invited to the party in turn decreasing the budget of the party. I would try my level best and put in complete effort to leverage both our monetary requirements and in-laws requests and find a balance between both of them.
Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).
Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.
When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”
What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
After analyzing the situation and understanding how particular my in-laws are about the function, I would take a decision. If I feel that they are very particular about the function, and as my DH too is okay with it, I will try to organize the function. I would agree with them but just not get overboard with all the stuff. I would agree for a good party and send invites to everyone but give gifts and clothes a pass. The main aspect of dealing this situation would be to deal it with patience. I would like to minimize the cost occurring to the function as much as possible and at the same time try to please my in-laws. Minimizing the cost of the function can be done in many ways depending on the family such as serving only vegetarian food and no non-vegetarian food and booze.
I would try to speak with in-laws and tell them that everyone is very jealous of our house and now giving a big party will draw unnecessary attention and bad will. Also, I will try to convince them in giving gifts only to our close people rather than everyone invited to the party in turn decreasing the budget of the party. I would try my level best and put in complete effort to leverage both our monetary requirements and in-laws requests and find a balance between both of them.
Organizers Feedback: Well answered covered all angles. Also explained well on why she would do what she stated.
Situation 3 - @Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.
Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.
How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.
Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.
How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
As a manger, I would step in and take up the role of solving the situation amicably. Again, there is not one correct way of solving this issue. I would take the following steps:
I will try to closely monitor them and as a manager. I would try to clearly segregate their duties with in the project and give them specific deliverables so that they don’t step on each other’s work. With daily updates and team huddles, I would monitor the progress of their work. I would try to delegate the work and if I sense that there is a trouble, I would intervene before the situation would get out of hands. I would ask them to CC on all their emails, so that I get a clear picture of what is happening.
If I am not able to manage my time to do all this work, I will try to pick another team mate who is politically neutral and peaceful to observe these 2 people in general as well as during the team meetings and report to me the exact situation if there is a problem. This way, I get a third opinion as well before I come to a conclusion and resolve the situation. I will try to maintain my details with the third person confidential.
If there is a decision making issue, where the two of them are not agreeing with each other, I will try to analyze both their arguments. I will try to come up with the advantages and disadvantages of both their choices, the after –effects of the option selected, try to make them write on a white board and weigh one option against the other. Will try to solve the situation diplomatically and give the necessary technical reasoning of going with the option once finalized. This helps in maintaining a healthy competitive relationship.
In spite of doing all this, if the situation is not controllable, then not only as a manager, but as a friend, I would try to talk to each of them separately and find out the root cause of their problems/issues. I will try to emphasize on their strengths and positive aspects and let them know that their reviews might suffer because of their relationship skills. Will try to imbibe in them the team player skills and as a friend, manager and guide suggest them to find solutions to the problems rather they becoming the problem.
Organizers Feedback: Exceeded line limit
I will try to closely monitor them and as a manager. I would try to clearly segregate their duties with in the project and give them specific deliverables so that they don’t step on each other’s work. With daily updates and team huddles, I would monitor the progress of their work. I would try to delegate the work and if I sense that there is a trouble, I would intervene before the situation would get out of hands. I would ask them to CC on all their emails, so that I get a clear picture of what is happening.
If I am not able to manage my time to do all this work, I will try to pick another team mate who is politically neutral and peaceful to observe these 2 people in general as well as during the team meetings and report to me the exact situation if there is a problem. This way, I get a third opinion as well before I come to a conclusion and resolve the situation. I will try to maintain my details with the third person confidential.
If there is a decision making issue, where the two of them are not agreeing with each other, I will try to analyze both their arguments. I will try to come up with the advantages and disadvantages of both their choices, the after –effects of the option selected, try to make them write on a white board and weigh one option against the other. Will try to solve the situation diplomatically and give the necessary technical reasoning of going with the option once finalized. This helps in maintaining a healthy competitive relationship.
In spite of doing all this, if the situation is not controllable, then not only as a manager, but as a friend, I would try to talk to each of them separately and find out the root cause of their problems/issues. I will try to emphasize on their strengths and positive aspects and let them know that their reviews might suffer because of their relationship skills. Will try to imbibe in them the team player skills and as a friend, manager and guide suggest them to find solutions to the problems rather they becoming the problem.
Organizers Feedback: Exceeded line limit
Situation 4 - @Friend Circle
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and you got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.
Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.
Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”
PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
IF I feel, that X is criticizing my child, then I would definitely find a way to solve the issue. I don’t think speaking with X would matter, coz she might completely disagree with me and more over our relation could worsen stating that I have accused her of scolding my kid. Also, the problem will not be resolved if I started to behave the same way with her kid. Rather, I would go in the peaceful way and try to praise and compliment her kid. As, she has been my good friend for the past 5- 6 years, she is definitely not a bad person. I feel she is behaving in such a way because she must have become insecure with the kids (or) competitive as children are growing up. I would try to praise her kid and at the same time, try to show my kid’s skills and activities. This would definitely help her understand that she will not achieve anything by criticizing my kid. I will demonstrate that I like both the kids equally and make her understand that there is no real competition between the kids.
At the same time, I would also speak with my kid and find out if he is feeling bad about what X is commenting on him. I would try to tell him to be nice and play with his friend without worrying about the aunt.
Organizers Feedback: Since there are no right or wrong answers your choice to not speak with X is aceptable. Also you have stated you would speak to your child. So I liked your answer
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and you got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.
Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.
Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”
PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
IF I feel, that X is criticizing my child, then I would definitely find a way to solve the issue. I don’t think speaking with X would matter, coz she might completely disagree with me and more over our relation could worsen stating that I have accused her of scolding my kid. Also, the problem will not be resolved if I started to behave the same way with her kid. Rather, I would go in the peaceful way and try to praise and compliment her kid. As, she has been my good friend for the past 5- 6 years, she is definitely not a bad person. I feel she is behaving in such a way because she must have become insecure with the kids (or) competitive as children are growing up. I would try to praise her kid and at the same time, try to show my kid’s skills and activities. This would definitely help her understand that she will not achieve anything by criticizing my kid. I will demonstrate that I like both the kids equally and make her understand that there is no real competition between the kids.
At the same time, I would also speak with my kid and find out if he is feeling bad about what X is commenting on him. I would try to tell him to be nice and play with his friend without worrying about the aunt.
Organizers Feedback: Since there are no right or wrong answers your choice to not speak with X is aceptable. Also you have stated you would speak to your child. So I liked your answer
Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)
Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.
Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.
How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:
First and foremost, I will try to wipe all the sambhar spilled on my dress and clean it as much as possible. Then, I know there is no way of proving that the lady has spilled it intentionally or by mistake. There is no point in blaming or accusing the person as this will only worsen the situation even more and become further embarrassing and spoil the party. I would try to maintain my composure and try to enjoy the rest of the party with my other friends. I would try to ignore the person who spilled the sambhar and try to distance myself until I get convinced that the incident was a mistake. Also, it is mentioned that she is not one of my friends; I would try to find out more about her from my common friends before coming to a conclusion.
Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.
Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.
How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:
First and foremost, I will try to wipe all the sambhar spilled on my dress and clean it as much as possible. Then, I know there is no way of proving that the lady has spilled it intentionally or by mistake. There is no point in blaming or accusing the person as this will only worsen the situation even more and become further embarrassing and spoil the party. I would try to maintain my composure and try to enjoy the rest of the party with my other friends. I would try to ignore the person who spilled the sambhar and try to distance myself until I get convinced that the incident was a mistake. Also, it is mentioned that she is not one of my friends; I would try to find out more about her from my common friends before coming to a conclusion.
Organizers Feedback: Fine Answer.
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