Entry 20 - Rama Duddu

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

I will gift my boss a good deodorant that is used in professional environment and mention that the client was suggesting this as his favourite one . As human mentality goes My boss will definitely use it the next day onwards to be in the good books of the client.Slowly he will get into the habit of using a deo :)
In case, he doesn't use it still, then i must slowly try to make it clear to him in short and sweet way how the client is upset with his habit of not using a deodorant.
Organizers Feedback: This solution is wrong only for 1 reason - you lied about client preference - if your boss goes and check with client it will be very embarassing and if client denies yoru credibility will be at stake. Think about it.

Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am OK either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:

I Will try to convince my in laws as it is better than having another personal loan just for pleasing relatives.I will put forth the number of the mortgage taken so far and try to tell them how much we have already spent and how much loan we already have citing which i will also tell them that there will be few more occasion when we can have a grand party ,but this housewarming can preferably be a simple affair.If they fail to Agree I will have to ask them to contribute financially for making it a grand affair only then will they understand and agree :)
Organizers Feedback: The idea to ask them to contribute is ok. But that will depend on their financial situation which is not mentioned here .So its not fully in agreement with the problem statement.

Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I will call them both and give them an assignment in which both of them have to mention 10 things they like in their counterpart and let them read it to each other . This will break the initial Ego problem and make them think good about each other for once.Then I will make it clear that their personal relations should not affect the work and ask them to choose two departments each .In This case they get to choose what they want to do so they will do work in whole hearted-manner. I will also Gift them a book each of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People to help improve their Interpersonal Skills.
Organizers Feedback: This is by far the most practical solution that has tried to highlight the good points in one another. Once they are forced to see the good the bitterness will melt. Gifting a book is a good idea too. Overall a well answered question.

Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

Since She is a very good friend i will express my concern about her behavior and how my child is feeling about it. If she happened to do it unintentionally she will change her ways, if not i will tech my child to give back an answer so that my child can be a fighter when someone criticizes them without any reason and it will be a learning lesson for my kid to stand up for truth in this Dominating Society.
Organizers Feedback: Teaching your child independence and correcting your friend's behaviour are not mutually exclusive options. They need to be done simultaneously.

Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:

First thing is I will wash that part of dress and try to dry it and cover it with my dupatta in a stylish manner such that the stained part of salwar is covered. TO teach this jealous lady a lesson, i will go ahead and announce on the stage that she is going to give a performance for pleasing me as she is so sorry that she spoilt my dress and ask her to perform for a song and dance :P and I will have a hearty laugh with all my friends when she makes a fool of herself :P

Organizers Feedback: Again this is a perception that she did it on purpose, assuming she didn’t do it and its an accident you will make a fool of yourself telling everyone and will look vindictive. So be very caution. A lot of times - "What you feel is not what it is". Assuming she didnt do it on purpose you would have made a grave social mess of yourself in a common group of friends. Think about it.