Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?
Answer:
The relationship with the Boss is official. We work together for more no. of hrs in the same environment / office, so it’s good idea to tell the reason directly depending on the interaction with him. But he may not receive the complaint in a sportive way. So I started thinking all other options.
Finally arranged a meeting with the Boss to suggest / request some changes for improving the business. During our discussions I mentioned that I overheard from some of our customers’ complaining about our bad body odour. I thought it’s my responsibility to inform Boss. If the customers face the same it may affect our Business.
Making some suggestions to Boss that all are required to keep the office clean & also keep themselves free from bad body odour .For doing this we may need perfect AC system in the office , We may use body spray or deodorants or perfumes .For office – to use Room Fresheners , regularly to keep pleasant and healthy Office environment.
I also suggest that, last but not least, the research shows that we can control our body odour by changing our diet & also avoid tight outfit. The odour comes because of the Bacteria which form due to sweat. And the bad body odour can be reduced by changing our food habits. More intakes of Zinc in foods … etc.
For implementing all these, my suggestion to Boss is to start following some of these and will try to see everyone follows. Hope Boss doesn’t feel that I’m complaining about him. He may accept this it’s not a negative feedback about him.
Boss is right always ……..
Situation 2 - @ Home
Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (There are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).
Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.
When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”
What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
It is very difficult to convince them and also agree to the Grand / Expensive Home Ceremony. Discussions and Suggestions with all the family members can make change in their attitude. Planning is always important. First I will put the figures / costs in the paper like Family needs, Emergency funds, Future Planning, Salary / Income, loan /Recurring expenses and how to save/spend money etc.. I will discuss all these very clearly with In-Laws when husband is also present in the family meeting. I will note down all suggestions. I also clearly mention the things I want to do and don’t to reduce the Function’s expenses. I will try to take their views about do’s & don’ts from them too. First of all we select a convenient time to sit together and list out the close family relatives & friends with the help of In-Laws suggestions. Try to find a Simple & Reasonable cost of a buffet menu, so that wastage will be less or try for no wastage at all. We will discuss each and every point and will have a clear view about the cost for clothes to give for the selective people in Housewarming ceremony. Next step is to find out a Sale or Whole Sale Stores for selection of the clothes much before the Function. That way we may cut down some expenses. Return gifts are suggestible for some whom we do not offer / put new clothes. These gifts we will take in a big market to reduce cost. By putting all these figures and discussions with In-Laws & Husband, First function in our dream home (House warm Ceremony) will not be a burden. Trying loan for this ceremony is also not advisable for husband as we need to pay high amount monthly. It won’t give any disappointment for in ln-Laws, as the function is organized in their supervision. I don’t clash with them, but I will explain the Positives and Negatives clearly in every step regarding the function. Time is valuable. So we don’t waste that in arranging / discussing unnecessary things. Wish me Happy House Warming Ceremony …girls !!!!!
Situation 3 - @Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.
Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now it’s impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.
How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
It’s in fact a difficult situation to deal with 2 different people both having problems within each other and they don’t get along well at all. May be they are having some blockers to mingle with each other. Team work can do wonders in the business.
First I will arrange a meeting with these 2 people. I will ask them to give more information for Q’s regarding personal disputes or strong reasons for clashing with each other. I will also ask them for more explanation for the situations and I’m not expecting a simple Yes / No. I will shoot the Q’s directly to them and will analyze the responses which I receive from both.
I will mention clearly that I don’t listen to their imaginations, unnecessary conversations. Finding the root cause for miss- understandings, and to get the reality of the present situation I will ask them to be clear about the reasons for enmity. After listening, if required I will tell the disadvantages out of this.
(Posing the Q’s like Mr. X complaining on you in this particular situation, so what do you think Mr.Y?) By getting clarity for these kind of Q’s will help to maintain cordial relationship with them and in between them). It may be difficult to act in this situation, but this will help for a good and quality work environment. Gradually they will extend the support after discussions.
Considering their views, as a Manager, I will start analyzing the reasons. If the situation demands HR help, I will take suggestions from HR division too. I will order them to improve the Quality of work by consulting each other. Keeping their emotions aside, I will form Rules & Regulations/ Roles & Responsibilities clearly for them where they can exchange their cooperation.
Also I will order / ask them to talk directly with me for any problem they face during this process. I will also listen to their ideas directly to get a solution. If they are expecting any thing or support, I will ensure that. (I will appreciate them for the changes.) Hope things will change by following this !!!!
Situation 4 - @Friend Circle
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and you got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.
Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.
Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”
PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
Some women are more interested to talk about others and insult others. They usually don’t talk about themselves. By facing the problem with X repeatedly, I got an impression on her that she is immature and is having a jealousy kind of attitude. Given a chance, I will talk to her personally in leisured time to change her attitude, even though I get angry about her behavior. My son is a victim for her behavior and he is becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence. So I need to set my son is my priority.
Without insulting her, posing the Q’s clearly, I may get some solution. It is unfortunate that she always complaints / criticizes my son. Considering that we know each other for the past 5-6 yrs. and both our kids are of the same age group and they are playing & enjoying each other’s company, what could be the reason /cause for her to criticize my son when she is alone with the kids? By seeing all these I feel that she is having dual mentality, that she will be very sweet with the kids in front of our DHs. Also will tell her that I’m ready to extend my support to solve the problem with her mentality. (I will also make clear that “I don’t ever discuss this with friend’s circle, so you can share it” type of Q’s will help to continue our friendship with each other, as I cannot avoid and don’t want to break the relationship). As a close friend /family friend I need to express that I’m expecting cooperation from her to get the confidence in my kid. If this continues my son may lose his confidence in him. This is to be corrected at the early stage. As a responsible mother I will teach my kid to face this type of situations. At the same time I will try to find the reason why she is having fluctuating mindset. I will ask her to imagine, if she faces the same situation what will be her reaction and how she manages the situation. I will suggest her that it will also spoil the relationships if the behavior continuous.
By taking all these steps hope our friendship / mutual understanding continues …..
Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)
Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.
Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drives away.
How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:
For every problem, there should be a solution.
For maintaining a good relationship with friends’, I learned to respect everyone for what they are.
I will try to move the same way with her even she behaves rude, because my behavior never depends on other peoples’ actions. I will try to understand what bothers her so much. I will give another chance to her to correct her behavior.
I will try to convey her that getting an impression (good/bad) on any person depends on our behavior. That should reflect in our personality. To keep a pleasant environment and to be cool emotionally is very tough in this situation. Even after facing embarrassing moment, how we behave is in our hands, whether that is related to personal or official. Some issues we may solve in a short time and some will take long time. Instead of getting angry with her in that party, I will try to find out the cause for her behavior.
Not everyone behaves the same. Heart to heart talk can solve most of the issues. These lessons will helpful throughout our life. First I will listen to her views. I have to see the options to minimize the conversation or keeping close with this jealousy lady in that party. If I don’t find a solution for this, it may turn into more misunderstands and spoil our friendship. I will not act emotionally in the party after she intentionally spills the sambar on my Lovely dress.
She may be expecting that I will make an issue in that party or I may leave early or I may change my lovely dress. Which is not a permit solution for this type of problems? I don’t lose confidence. But I will try to talk very clearly after the party ends.
Reacting emotionally for that situation may bring bad opinion for others on me. So, If possible I will clean the dress and will participate and enjoy the party. I will try to go to the nearest Stores to get a new dress to wear. As change of the dress is remote, I will continue with my Salwaar Suit. Hope this will not repeated…..
Organizers Feedback: Exceeded line limit specified in all answers
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?
Answer:
The relationship with the Boss is official. We work together for more no. of hrs in the same environment / office, so it’s good idea to tell the reason directly depending on the interaction with him. But he may not receive the complaint in a sportive way. So I started thinking all other options.
Finally arranged a meeting with the Boss to suggest / request some changes for improving the business. During our discussions I mentioned that I overheard from some of our customers’ complaining about our bad body odour. I thought it’s my responsibility to inform Boss. If the customers face the same it may affect our Business.
Making some suggestions to Boss that all are required to keep the office clean & also keep themselves free from bad body odour .For doing this we may need perfect AC system in the office , We may use body spray or deodorants or perfumes .For office – to use Room Fresheners , regularly to keep pleasant and healthy Office environment.
I also suggest that, last but not least, the research shows that we can control our body odour by changing our diet & also avoid tight outfit. The odour comes because of the Bacteria which form due to sweat. And the bad body odour can be reduced by changing our food habits. More intakes of Zinc in foods … etc.
For implementing all these, my suggestion to Boss is to start following some of these and will try to see everyone follows. Hope Boss doesn’t feel that I’m complaining about him. He may accept this it’s not a negative feedback about him.
Boss is right always ……..
Situation 2 - @ Home
Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (There are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).
Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.
When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”
What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
It is very difficult to convince them and also agree to the Grand / Expensive Home Ceremony. Discussions and Suggestions with all the family members can make change in their attitude. Planning is always important. First I will put the figures / costs in the paper like Family needs, Emergency funds, Future Planning, Salary / Income, loan /Recurring expenses and how to save/spend money etc.. I will discuss all these very clearly with In-Laws when husband is also present in the family meeting. I will note down all suggestions. I also clearly mention the things I want to do and don’t to reduce the Function’s expenses. I will try to take their views about do’s & don’ts from them too. First of all we select a convenient time to sit together and list out the close family relatives & friends with the help of In-Laws suggestions. Try to find a Simple & Reasonable cost of a buffet menu, so that wastage will be less or try for no wastage at all. We will discuss each and every point and will have a clear view about the cost for clothes to give for the selective people in Housewarming ceremony. Next step is to find out a Sale or Whole Sale Stores for selection of the clothes much before the Function. That way we may cut down some expenses. Return gifts are suggestible for some whom we do not offer / put new clothes. These gifts we will take in a big market to reduce cost. By putting all these figures and discussions with In-Laws & Husband, First function in our dream home (House warm Ceremony) will not be a burden. Trying loan for this ceremony is also not advisable for husband as we need to pay high amount monthly. It won’t give any disappointment for in ln-Laws, as the function is organized in their supervision. I don’t clash with them, but I will explain the Positives and Negatives clearly in every step regarding the function. Time is valuable. So we don’t waste that in arranging / discussing unnecessary things. Wish me Happy House Warming Ceremony …girls !!!!!
Situation 3 - @Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.
Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now it’s impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.
How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
It’s in fact a difficult situation to deal with 2 different people both having problems within each other and they don’t get along well at all. May be they are having some blockers to mingle with each other. Team work can do wonders in the business.
First I will arrange a meeting with these 2 people. I will ask them to give more information for Q’s regarding personal disputes or strong reasons for clashing with each other. I will also ask them for more explanation for the situations and I’m not expecting a simple Yes / No. I will shoot the Q’s directly to them and will analyze the responses which I receive from both.
I will mention clearly that I don’t listen to their imaginations, unnecessary conversations. Finding the root cause for miss- understandings, and to get the reality of the present situation I will ask them to be clear about the reasons for enmity. After listening, if required I will tell the disadvantages out of this.
(Posing the Q’s like Mr. X complaining on you in this particular situation, so what do you think Mr.Y?) By getting clarity for these kind of Q’s will help to maintain cordial relationship with them and in between them). It may be difficult to act in this situation, but this will help for a good and quality work environment. Gradually they will extend the support after discussions.
Considering their views, as a Manager, I will start analyzing the reasons. If the situation demands HR help, I will take suggestions from HR division too. I will order them to improve the Quality of work by consulting each other. Keeping their emotions aside, I will form Rules & Regulations/ Roles & Responsibilities clearly for them where they can exchange their cooperation.
Also I will order / ask them to talk directly with me for any problem they face during this process. I will also listen to their ideas directly to get a solution. If they are expecting any thing or support, I will ensure that. (I will appreciate them for the changes.) Hope things will change by following this !!!!
Situation 4 - @Friend Circle
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and you got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.
Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.
Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”
PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?
Answer:
Some women are more interested to talk about others and insult others. They usually don’t talk about themselves. By facing the problem with X repeatedly, I got an impression on her that she is immature and is having a jealousy kind of attitude. Given a chance, I will talk to her personally in leisured time to change her attitude, even though I get angry about her behavior. My son is a victim for her behavior and he is becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence. So I need to set my son is my priority.
Without insulting her, posing the Q’s clearly, I may get some solution. It is unfortunate that she always complaints / criticizes my son. Considering that we know each other for the past 5-6 yrs. and both our kids are of the same age group and they are playing & enjoying each other’s company, what could be the reason /cause for her to criticize my son when she is alone with the kids? By seeing all these I feel that she is having dual mentality, that she will be very sweet with the kids in front of our DHs. Also will tell her that I’m ready to extend my support to solve the problem with her mentality. (I will also make clear that “I don’t ever discuss this with friend’s circle, so you can share it” type of Q’s will help to continue our friendship with each other, as I cannot avoid and don’t want to break the relationship). As a close friend /family friend I need to express that I’m expecting cooperation from her to get the confidence in my kid. If this continues my son may lose his confidence in him. This is to be corrected at the early stage. As a responsible mother I will teach my kid to face this type of situations. At the same time I will try to find the reason why she is having fluctuating mindset. I will ask her to imagine, if she faces the same situation what will be her reaction and how she manages the situation. I will suggest her that it will also spoil the relationships if the behavior continuous.
By taking all these steps hope our friendship / mutual understanding continues …..
Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)
Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.
Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drives away.
How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?
Answer:
For every problem, there should be a solution.
For maintaining a good relationship with friends’, I learned to respect everyone for what they are.
I will try to move the same way with her even she behaves rude, because my behavior never depends on other peoples’ actions. I will try to understand what bothers her so much. I will give another chance to her to correct her behavior.
I will try to convey her that getting an impression (good/bad) on any person depends on our behavior. That should reflect in our personality. To keep a pleasant environment and to be cool emotionally is very tough in this situation. Even after facing embarrassing moment, how we behave is in our hands, whether that is related to personal or official. Some issues we may solve in a short time and some will take long time. Instead of getting angry with her in that party, I will try to find out the cause for her behavior.
Not everyone behaves the same. Heart to heart talk can solve most of the issues. These lessons will helpful throughout our life. First I will listen to her views. I have to see the options to minimize the conversation or keeping close with this jealousy lady in that party. If I don’t find a solution for this, it may turn into more misunderstands and spoil our friendship. I will not act emotionally in the party after she intentionally spills the sambar on my Lovely dress.
She may be expecting that I will make an issue in that party or I may leave early or I may change my lovely dress. Which is not a permit solution for this type of problems? I don’t lose confidence. But I will try to talk very clearly after the party ends.
Reacting emotionally for that situation may bring bad opinion for others on me. So, If possible I will clean the dress and will participate and enjoy the party. I will try to go to the nearest Stores to get a new dress to wear. As change of the dress is remote, I will continue with my Salwaar Suit. Hope this will not repeated…..
Organizers Feedback: Exceeded line limit specified in all answers
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