Entry 5 - Lakshmi Kalyani N

• Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

Since I did not get the feedback, I would not inform him directly. I would confide in a co-worker and take his help. When some of our teammates gather, we casually bring the topic of perfumes and ask everyone if they tried the "latest" one. My co-worker would be telling that he did not try it yet, and would like to try it. I would say I will bring it tomorrow. Just before the customer meeting, we bring the topic of that perfume again and encourage everyone to try it. Enthusiastically, I would rub some of it on my boss too. If he likes it, we will ask him to keep it.

• Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

I will talk to my mother in law and convince her that we will do the house warming traditionally and celebrate it within the family for now. Remind her that our daughter's birthday is coming up within six months. We can invite everyone for that party, it gives us time for gathering savings too. All the relatives can be invited and everyone can bless their grand daughter too. Also, the house can be decorated very well since it gives us more time.

• Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

As a manager I will talk to them separately and tell them not to bring personal issues to work as it is not a good professional behavior. I would tell them how important the project is and how it can impact all our careers and company. I will remind them how successful we were in the previous project and thank them for all their hard work. I will assign their tasks and differentiate them very clearly and give them the deadlines. For some of the tasks that have to be done together, I will sit with them few hours each day to discuss the progress and try to get them complete the tasks. For each successful phase of the project, I will arrange a small party with all others and try to get them together and sort their differences. Like matured individuals I am sure that they will come around slowly and start working towards the project and company.

• Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I will share a nice article on impact of criticizing kids and try to explain X that criticizing kids has a negative impact on them. I am sure she might not be criticizing my child intentionally and might have not realized the affect of it. She might be doing it out of love for my kid. Even after lot of explanation, if she does not realize I would give one good example of how it hurt my kid and how he is afraid to try things because of it. If X keeps doing the same, it means she is doing it intentionally. And gradually I will stop meeting her except if it's really necessary because nothing is important than my child.

• Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I will clean the mess on my dress as much as I can. Pretend as if nothing is wrong with mine and be as casual as possible. If someone asks what happened to my dress, I will joke that Sambar was so nice that I could'nt get enough of it. I will not feel bad and allow the lady to get what she intended.