Entry 4 - Uma M Korlapati

• Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

Some time during the leisure ,i mean around the coffee time,lunch or so.. .. would try to get into some friendly conversation and talk about the recent Adv.s coming on TV..starting from the business perspective and landing on to the recent Adv.s about the body sprays and would let him know that I heard a particular Men spray is really good....and would humorously say ..“one of my cousin/friend switched to this spray and tht led him to get more customers..and yeah!! Strangely costumers do consider the body odor ..and a good body odor would attract them :)..and may be we should give it a try!!!”..I hope he will understand....

• Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

In this kind of situations..I would prefer to be a open book..I would let them know our earnings nd expenses...instead of giving a way to misunderstandings in the family...oka pakka inlaws emo dabbu vunde kani grand ga cheyyatledu anukovadam enduku??..so vallaki budget antha chepthanu..and will tell them the finacial situation..naaku kooda istame andarini pilichi grand ga chesukovadam.kani as per our current situation..may be we should keep this function simple..and in some time we will be coming out of this and next function edi vasthe adhe grand ga chesukundaam chakkagaa ani chepthanu...appatiki vallu convince avvakapothe..I would say..sare, ee function grand ga chesthe..may be we may need to compromise on many other things for next few years..choice meedhe ani chepthanu...all I need is to maintain our expenses with in our affordable limit..now or later ,that is their choice...I think as elders they will also think the same..they would not let their kids to go out of their limit and spend money....

Family ki sambadinchina issues chalaa sensitive...okka sari misunderstandings kani godavalu kani vasthe ..it will lead to many other things in future....tharvatha edi chesina tappu la ne kanipisthunde...so in real life I would mostly try to solve it with out any differences..ee okka situation kosam ani..gattiga matladi..potladi..tharvatha chinna chinna vishyallo kooda combined happiness ni miss chesukvadam naaku istam vundadhu...I would think it as a long term thing and so as the solution..

• Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

In this kind of situation..I would rather be professional than taking it personal.... iddarani pilichi koorcho petti clear ga matladuthanu..”whatever may be the personal matters between you both..I cannot take it till an extent that it would effect the project/work...as long as we r at work..please try to be professional and let us get the things done on time..or else its gonna effect all of us..lets be a friendly team and do it together..it would be good for us”....ante, I would talk to both of them in such a way it is very clear that am not in favor of any one..and any decision taken by me in future is gonna effect them equally....automatic ga valle dhari loki vastharu:)...once u know u r n trouble,u will try to unite..thats the technique:)

• Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I cannot deal this any harsh and let my husbands friendship end bcoz of this women issues...may be I would indirectly give her messages every now and then about how kids feel when others point out the negatives in them..like..edo book lo chadivenanoo..or inko friend cheppinde anoo...andwill take an example of some other kid nd explain her...a abbayini valla aunty yeppudu alaa pin point chesthuntee chalaa low ga,dull ga ayipoyadu anta ani...at the same time will appreciate every little thing her kid would do...over a very short period of time she will understand wat am trying to convey...all these are typical women things(need not necessarily be in every woman) and it will come to an end very soon... I think ilanti vishayalu needs a small correction and a little time...

• Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I would really go mad in the inner side..bcoz naaku dresses ante chala istam :) nd hate mess!!..but,thats a party and I cannot act up furious..so,i will definitely control my emotions....alanti situation lo manam mood out ayipoyi,serious ayipoyi..or aa function nunde vellipothe....it will be the victory of the other lady who spilled sambar...instead of that..I would very softly nd sarcastically say..”Its Okay..u were not intentional na..mistakes do happen”..and just wipe the dress and carry it well thru the party as if nothing happened...and just before leaving the party..in the presence of this sambar lady,I would say to my friend “ abba..naa salwar ki disti poyinde ee roju..naaku chalaa free ga vunde” ani....I would take it casually and make the other lady feel the pinch....:-)