Entry 33 - Sadhana

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:
I will meet my boss in leisure time. I will try to open the topic regarding attitudes of staff with customers. I will create an imaginary story and narrate to my boss as a real. In this story the bad mannerisms and body languages etc of collegues of my friend with their customers has badly resulted to loose a big project. In view of the above I also requested my boss to think and act appropriately.
With this, I hope my boss will definitely think about it and change.

Organizers Feedback: Answer is ok but the justification is not complete enough.

Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
Taking advantage of my inlaw’s happy moments I sincerely propose to celebrate the function at this time, simply by performing VRATHAM and required pooja’s of house ceremony . I also propose to celebrate the ensuing “Shashtipoorthi” of my inlaw’s in a grand way in this new house. I also request my inlaw’s to give me such opportunity.
By the time after 6months I convince, that I will receive incentives of arrears due, to make the function a grand success.
Definitely this proposal will deeply touch the hearts of my inlaw’s to accept it.
Organizers Feedback: Fairly explained answer.


Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:
I call both the individuals and instruct to follow my guidelines. I will also assign duties them in separate tasks in different locations having no change in their status. It requires I review the performance and make modifications.
In this regard reportee’s will be engaged with their duties entrusted for sometime. This arrangement will make good result.


Organizers Feedback: 2 people have their own minds even if you are their manager they wont listen to you just because you isntrut and you cannot command them. You have to solve the root cause not the current situation.

Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:
I call my frnd to meet personally I will ask her to help in encouraging my son to improve his awareness and studies. Recently he was placed in the rank below the average. I refer the remarks passed by the class teacher of my son in this regard. In this connection i required ur advise and help. Iam confident that u can bring the changes in my son’s activities.
Definitely the above plan will show the results in the attitude and treatment of my frnd with my son.
Organizers Feedback: I see no reason why you should treat your friend as a god- keep her in her place and respect your son's stature that is what will bring a change. Showing your son's problems will make her criticize more - according to me.



Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

Go to wash room I will clean my dress neatly to wipeout the stains. I take my Dupatta to cover the portion of the stains. I leave the premises as soon as possible.



Organizers Feedback: This answer addressed only half of the question without a mention to the other half. Incomplete answer.