Entry 12 - Naga Jyothi - Second Place

• Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

Fragrance is one of man's greatest enjoyments, bringing mind and creating a feeling of security, beauty and well-being. If bad odour is the situation, then I would discuss this with the boss in a more positive way rather than pointing out negativity of the issue.

I would start the conversation on nice ambience and how aromatherapy works wonders and soon after diverting the topic on personal front stating that I had a problem with bad odour in my previous workplace and resolved it soon after somebody pointed at me and I have taken that in a positive way and it made a very good change in building up confidence within myself and also had a good impact on customers as it is a retail based store and now in the present workplace also, people appreciate me in creating an aromatic environment whenever they come near me and also giving examples how fragrance and hygiene plays a major role in working environment and having pleasant customer feedback. At last telling him more household tips like aromatic bath and what perfume I am currently using to avoid bad odour

At last, saying that through smelling good, a variety of special feelings are transmitted...relaxation, stimulation, happiness, and achievement. Of all the senses, smell has the greatest impact on human emotions.

With this conversation, it will bring more curiosity in this subject and analyze his body smelling system and can bring a change in him and he would eventually change in a way or other.

• Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

The problem in this situation is about 2 issues, budgeting and other is keeping my relationship positive and makes them understand the situation and agree to my decision finally.

I will keep myself calm and relaxed and remember that this is our housewarming ceremony and we as a couple know more about the budget constraints than anyone self and we you should get what we want, as long as we do stay within your budget and can afford it. 1 First telling them that both extended families presence and having a ceremony in a traditional & spiritual way is what that matters to you both 2. Explain them about our finances and mortgage EMI issues and at this stage we don’t want to go overhead of our finance and we are keen to have a financial future in an economic instable situation like recession. 3. And they could invite their relatives on other occasions (few families at a time) like festivals or on vratham and gift them clothes and, it not only lessens the burden of spending on gifts such a clothes and catering and also we could attend the invitees in a more casual manner giving each family personal attention and make them happy, which at his stage is quite difficult for you as you have other pressures as well & you need more time to plan.

• Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

This is the case of conflict resolution and achieving organizing objectives as well. As the manager, my approach should be to resolve the situation without offending or alienating either one individual staff “
My goal is to keep everyone focused on solving a problem and not be sidetracked by personal or political issues. My 3 main strategies to work out this issue would be setting up an informal meeting with X and Y

• Asking them questions about their likes and dislikes for each other. Ask ‘likes’ first, what do you like in opponent staff? Coming up with a positive feedback from your foe(X about Y or Y about X) really works wonders and the other person starts have a more open conversation more and more and this could lead to developing more friendly relation among both of them.
• In that meeting clearly defining company’s mission and policies regarding work ethics and time management. The personal fights is getting the end result of deteriotion of work process and you would not want to happen this and praising their workman ship and how their contributed their efficiency in the past

This may take the form of meetings, negotiation/mediation sessions, or other dispute-resolution processes. Informal resolution of complaints at any stage of the process also provides managers with a no-fault, low- or no-cost means of restoring harmony and productivity to the organization.

Knowing the root cause of why other people dislike us makes ourself clearer in mind and helps us to grow, this kind of encounter brings relations together.

• Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

This situation has two issues to deal with, one is Jealousy and other one is my child’ stress towards being a victim of Jealousy. It is often a lack of self-esteem that causes women to attempt to constrain the behavior of their friends and signs of insecurities manifested into jealousy.

1.I will start the conversation stating that her son is very talented and she deserves all the praise raising him in such a manner and giving a small token of gift to his son for small achievement like reading rhymes kind of activities and clearly mentioning that kids when encouraged and appreciated , they showcase their talent more and tell her that my son is always very apprehensive for negative commenting, he is sensitive at nature and sometimes gets upset with negative feedback , giving example of her last comments regarding my son and be strong in saying that every kid has own kind of spark and at this age(4 years), they can’t be judged in negative way and 2 .Though its tricky to explain such issues at a tender age to my son, I will simply say that Aunty is upset these days and worried about something and don’t take remarks to heart and whenever she passes a remark, ask her how can I do better aunty, My mom always says you can teach very well. This kind of making self realization trick turns the situation better I think.

• Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

This situation has 2 issues to deal with, one is having a decent presence inspite of untidy clothes and other is fixing the jealousy caused to me by being perfect.

1. I will try to wrap my chunni in more fashionable manner so that the stain is not likely to visible.

2. Dealing with envious person can be quite challenging. In this situation I stop myself blowing up, thinking that there must be reason for her to be envy about you, Afterall, envy starts with lack of self esteem, insecurity, anger, not realizing self talents and fear. And people are more prone to envy when they are feeling all this. Empowering them is a good way to diffuse their envy rather than confronting.

I would start the conversation in subtle way of making her self realize the fact the every one has their own specialties. Starting my conversation by appreciating how good looking she is in her current dress and pointing out her positive points and saying that how so and so person appreciated her skills and looks. And asking her how she genuinely feels about my dress and helping her out in getting the details of the shopping, if starts reciprocating in a friendly manner with this conversation. And asking her opinion and advice on women’s shopping items…

This way she’ll sure realize how good she is when compared to me in other things and she would develop her confidence and self esteem and realize I am no way threat to her in outlook. In this way, I can also control my anger or agony regarding the situation but also can get self realisation from that person. If this does not work, it's better to distance your self in a peaceful way slowly over time.

To make somebody good is good than being good.