Entry 24 - Sri Soumya

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

I think this problem is to be dealt by the boss's wife. If she is a freindly lady, i would surely discuss this matter with her. and encourage her so that my boss would be convinced to use a deodarent. or in the other case if she is not a freindly lady, and if i had to deal this on my own.. i amy give him an anonymous email about his body odour and how it is effecting the bussiness... and also a simple suggestion. i hope this works...
Organizers Feedback: Boss's wife is a very touchy idea..

Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:

If my husband is not having any problem, then i too don't want to be a bad girl.. so would accept for it... and if i want the ceremony to be simple i may talk with my in laws about the expenses happened for this house already and i can convince them to call the closest relatives for the ceremony.. and we shall call every body and make this ceremony grand once we complete the loan of the house and it is furnished. i wish they will accept other wise i will fight a little...
Organizers Feedback: An attempt was not made to solve the problem at all.

Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

i may take them for a cup of coffee and discuss their problem.. i think here the fight starts but i believe all the things will come out. and there will surely a decision. we take the decision that ,next time, when they get irritated on each other, i will take care that they talk with each other ..not fight. they will wait till the other person completes his sentence...for this they will have a personality chart on my desk. if it continues for 3 months and if they are ok, they may get a reward from my side personally... i hope this works well..
Organizers Feedback: This was dealt with differently but you tried to get them to work preacefully not by authority so this is a good attempt.

Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

i will not go to her house alone with my kid the next time surely... i will go only with my husband. if she is coming to my house when my husband is not at home and my kid is at home... i will make my kid busy in other work so that he will not listen to her words and i will call her into the kitchen... i will make sure that the kids do not listen to our words.. and i can surely answer her criticism... i believe i have that talent and hope she will understand soon and reduce coming to my home too...
Organizers Feedback: A sudden stopping of friendship with her will be very rude. She may not know why and that is not a good way to abruptly end all interractions.

Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I will surely go home immediately but not so silently.. i will tell everbody on my way... that mrs X spilled sambar on my dress, i was careful only but still she did not notice me... i will say bye to everybody with this story and go away from the party..!

Organizers Feedback: Beign vindictive towards that lady will not help since we are not sure.