Entry 8 - Lavanya Reddy - Third Place

• Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

I am a role play person. If I have to convey a message to people, I do role plays. Like I say If I am in your place I would handle this situation in this way, or I come up with a story which never existed and tell how my actions impacted the situation etc.

So in this scenario when I have to tell my Boss that he has to look into personal Hygiene, I will come up with a creative short story: “Some years ago I used to work with this customer ABC. The Manager was a really nice person and I had great time working with him. I did great deals with him and he was very impressed with my work. But one day he told me:”How I wish you did not smell like an Onion Bagel every time you walked in. Makes me hungry “and laughed off. I did get my message and believe me it was so embarrassing. I was glad that I did not lose him as a customer. But after that day, I learnt my lesson and didn’t have to face such criticism. Did you ever have to face that? I am sure not J” If my Boss is smart enough he will get the hint, or he might ask me”Do I smell bad?” and I will reply “A little bit of Fragrance goes a long way. Did you try the new Hugo Boss. You will love it, believe me”

• Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

I will be upset and worried to be in this situation. And I know my in laws; they are pretty rigid and will not give any other thoughts an ear. So I will keep my calm and infact express how excited I am with the thought of having a grand celebration and start planning for the celebrations right away with them. And after a couple of days, I will start slowly start expressing the problems (financial) about having a Grand celebration. I will get offensive instead of defensive and complain how upset I am with how tight the pockets are getting. My in laws will not pity me or anything so melodramatic. So I will promptly tell that I am genuinely upset about the financial situation and I think it is wise to keep it a low profile for now. However, I will offer that we can have Dhoti Function of our baby in a big way and invite one and all. Appatidi appudu choosukundam ani manasulo ankunta J. Ultimately I will be calm and firm and say that this is not a good time owing to the problem and apologize for not being able to accommodate their wishes, but will try to address them in the Dhoti function.

• Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

The most difficult duty of a Manager is People Management. It is complicated and Tricky at the same time. However, as a Manager I also realize that my resources are my biggest assets and It is my responsibility to keep them close and keep them happy. People have different dynamics and varied egos. With the description of my 2 direct reportees, I will be cautious in handling them. I will ask my team members to write positive things about every other member. Then I will call the 2 people individually into my Office and talk to them about what others have written about them. I will specifically emphasize on the comments and feedbacks of the other person. I will repeat the same thing with the second person. I will conclude my talks with them telling them that they both and the entire team have lot of respect for them and look upon them for guidance and knowledge. So in the best interest of the team and to improve their individual credibility, its best to keep personal egos at bay and work towards the success of the project. I will explain that it’s a symbiotic world and its time we accept it and move on.

• Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I knowingly or unknowingly will avoid any type of fights with my friends which leads to bitterness in the relationship and later when our paths cross, creating awkward and embarrassing situations. So I will have to make sure that this relationship with this Girlfriend doesn’t become sour. So I will start firstly appreciating her for criticizing my son as I firmly believe that criticism starts at home. If she still continues to criticize my son, then I will talk to her saying “I think my son is too young to understand and take your criticism positively. I understand your intent is to better him, but I think he is not there yet to accept criticism. I see that he gets too sensitive, dull and apprehensive in your presence which is actually hindering his creativity due to the fear of critic and rejection. Let us hold back on our thoughts on him and give him more space to grow and explore. I truly appreciate your inputs and we can take it offline when my son is not around. Thanks for understanding. I know you mean all well for him “. But inspite of this if she continues her Old ways, then I will repeat one more time and eventually will reduce the play dates which involves just the moms and kids.

• Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I am not a vengeful person. Its not my duty to fix her attitude. If she has a problem, she should learn to self analyze and better her behavior. As for me, I will rush to the restroom immediately and try to reduce the damage as much as I can. The stain will definitely be there.

I am a person who is comfortable in her own skin and like to wear her attitude. Since my dress is a salwar, I will have a duppatta for sure, so depending on where the stain is( I am hoping in the front near the torso) I will take my duppatta and make pleats and pin the pleats on one shoulder and bring the front and back ends together and tie a knot and put it on the other shoulder around my neck. This is called Butterfly style. This will cover my stain and give a different look to the dress in the party. One dress, two looks J

Looks something like this but the loose ends are tied up against the other shoulder and stays there and looks gorgeous. She will hopefully learn that its not use trying to harm others, you may inturn burn your own fingers.

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVSmKj-RkuSW8j7xh4ey_lv36HKeNCv2I4O_cLrMB8nPJP-OTXwo-SCVgMQl8ntmmvWM8T-Cz4Dd0J3pVMXhnHYgU3vePJJTKyZO_bDCsONsfHcZevzKwFSEwFFFc3H5PtV4hgsN0vJwGC/s1600-h/rc1015c-suit.jpg