Entry 1 - Manjeera P - First Place

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  Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

As this is the situation dealing with the customers, also the message is not given directly, I cannot think of convincing the customers about this issue. Complaining directly with the manager about his bad body odour is a sensitive issue which needs to be dealt sophisticatedly with people skills such that the message should be given without hurting his feelings. This is the incident where face to face talking is preferred to sending email.

I will wait for the perfect opportunity when the boss is casual and in a good mood. Talking with him casually I will convey him the message indirectly by saying “ I overheard from one of our customers that they stopped their business with some company because of the bad body odour of that company’s manager during the client meetings. I think these customers give more importance to appearance and body odour. So, I am using expensive perfumes these days in order to avoid their complaints.” If my boss understands the issue or not, I hope he can understand the customers demand.

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  Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

Such a situation dealing with in-laws is more complicated. I prefer to have a direct conversation with in-laws describing our situation that needed another loan for the grand house warming function. I will tell them that the decision is left to them and we are going to follow it. Usually in-laws will be more satisfied if the decision is theirs and will be happy for their children giving more respect to them. If they stick to their decision of grand function, I will convey this message to my husband. If he has any issue with that, it is up to him to convince them. Being a daughter-in-law, my role is to convey messages and to follow their orders which will make everyone happy. If I choose to do a small function to save money, my in-laws will be hurt which makes my husband also feel bad. No one will understand that I saved money but thinks that I am going against in-law’s decision. As this is their family matter, I will accept their decision.

I prefer to go with in-laws’ decision whatever it may be. Dabbulu malli sampaadinchukovachu, maa in-laws happyga vundatam mukhyam kada !

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  Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

Our epics prescribes political methodologies, ‘Sama Dana Bheda and Danda’ to solve any issue. Without knowing the strength of the conflict, I can’t follow only one method to solve the problem. Similar to a doctor who prescribes a medicine and will increase the dosage depending on the severity of the disease, I would start with ‘Sama’ method by conducting the individual meetings with them privately. I would ask them to write the complaints as well as good qualities in each other and then exchange their papers. This may stop their conflicts. If this doesn’t work, I will start my ‘Dana’ method, by offering rewards and appraisals if they work together without conflict and complete work in time. If the conflict continues, I would show them the differences between a success team with teamwork and the conflicting team like ours. This is the ‘Bheda’ method by comparing and keeping a competition between the teams. With no positive result, last method ‘Danda’ comes into picture by threatening them that they will be fired because of poor performance, which can certainly change their attitude.

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  Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

As I am generally soft natured and stay away from conflicts, I am not going to tell her anything. As we are family friends from years, even if I tell her softly not to criticize, she may take it in a negative manner and can start a dispute.

As the main problem is my son losing his spark, I initiate by taking him to different classes like sports, swimming, drawing, dancing etc., and also to the children sections at libraries where he receives more encouragement and appreciation. I shall take care that he is confident, shows interest and enjoys those classes without overstraining himself. Also I shall always teach him “Paddavaadu eppudu chedda vaadu kaadu” so that he doesn’t mind others’ criticizes.

This world is full of criticizes and my son needs to learn how to face them. So I want my close family friend to teach him how criticizes would be and I will teach him how to face them!

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  Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

Soon the lady apologizes, I reply with a smile “Ayyo, parvaaledu lendi, dress ki dhisti tagilinte, yippudu poyintundi”. Whether it is intention or accident, incident has already happened, can’t make it set by scolding her. Remembering the quote, ‘A word once uttered can never be recalled’ , I will control my tongue. Also I accept the fact ‘A smile is a curve that sets everything straight’. My smile may not be able to make my dress stainless but that smile shows my positive attitude towards such incident. If she did that intentionally, I hope my positive attitude might bring her a change. If it is accidental, a smile can comfort her guilty feeling.

As there is no chance of changing my dress, I will try to clean the stain with little water and go ahead with the party. Good behavior with a smile makes a person more beautiful than his external appearance. So not bothering about my dress, I will mingle with everyone in the party happily with a smile.