Entry 10 - Jayasree Kuricheti - Third Place

• Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

Finding a supporting boss to work for is much harder than finding a job that I enjoy doing. I can understand how a person feels, when given a straight negative feedback if he is not sportive. I wouldn't let my boss go through tremendous amount of thinking like “Is this statement really true? Or Is she making it up? How the hell would they stop continuing business just coz of bad body odour. Why does she care so much? Is every body else in the conference room perfect?”

I also agree that customers are important to business. I would rather make my boss understand implicitly by gifting him 2 perfume bottles one for him and other for his wife on any occasion like Christmas or new year, birthday. If there isn’t any occasion I would say “I went to this place for weekend and there was a sale, so I thought you and your wife would like to use it.”

If his wife is a good friend of mine I would tell her about how suffocating it is in office particularly in small conference rooms but I wouldn't tell any one in office, no matter how much close he/she is to my boss.

If I don't have that intimacy with his wife, I would rather ask the cleaning lady to spray room freshener every day in all the conference rooms.

May be in future after working for him for 3-4 years or so, when I believe he trusts me, I could tell my boss straight away but as of now this is the best I can do.

• Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

I shall talk to them about the idea of having a small house warming party, but would leave both options on the table for them to pick. I will talk to them just to let them know there is a 2^nd option in my mind. There could be 25 % chance (or even less) that they would agree. I don't want to leave the chance by not speaking anything about my idea.

I do this coz, after having a grand party, I don't want them to come and tell me “may be we could have done it in a small scale” which would really pinch my heart. I would leave the final decision to in laws as I care for their opinion and happiness. I understand their feeling to see their loved ones visiting new house and offering wishes.

Once I keep 2 options open for them to pick they will also value my respect towards them and will do next occasion or any family event in my favor. As per the financial situation is concerned as long as I have my DH support I will be able to cope up with the costs in say 1 year longer then what was planned.

So I would agree to them not straight away, but after giving a try to convince them, but not hurting them or making a fuss about it.

• Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I would seriously consider what is the factor that is causing both my employees to contradict each other. If this is anything personal, I would talk to both of them and address their issues. I would often go out and have lunch with them until them come to a friendly treaty.

If this has to do with work, I would talk to both of them and ask each one of them what they think the solution is. I would analyze the solution my self and let them know my opinion. I shall identify who is the risk taker and who is more bound to rules when it comes to decision making. I will make them understand every method has its own pros and cons and we also need to take some risks to achieve great results. I will explain the leverage we can take as a team in each and every decision they make.

I would try to know their opinions prior to the meeting with other departments and deliver it as my department’s solution as a whole to the problem. This way, I can shield my department issues from being a talk in everyone’s mouth in the rest of the office.

• Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

If I am in this situation my Mothers side jumps first to protect my son than a friend’s side. I will try to find what is that really bothering her. If it is to do with my son’s bad behavior I will try to correct him.

If there is something else which is common in kids is bothering her, I will make her understand (when the situation comes) that kids are mischievous and we need to bear with them until they realize they are doing something wrong and correct themselves. Scolding or criticizing doesn't help but worsens the situation.

If this doesn't help, I will try to visit her house less often but talk to her normally over the phone or when we meet. I will encourage her son’s visit to my home so that there is no impact on kids. I believe she values my friendship as I do. Eventually she will notice the gap in my company and realizes what went wrong. During this time I will take care that there is no communication gap between my husband and her husband.

These things are like small problems with a person’s mannerisms which need to be corrected but not confronted. After correcting the situation both families can hang out well as before.

• Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I would really feel bad that my pretty salwar got spoiled and now I had to be in the party with a big stain. I wouldn't say anything bad and would accept her apologizes. Even if I say anything like “ you should have watched out your surroundings or be careful” that would lead to a small or big discussion in front of others. She would start saying it was by mistake and not intentional blah blah. If this is not going to make the situation any better, I wouldn't indulge in this situation.

If I accept her sorry right away which would make her feel guilty(if she did that intentionally) and wouldn't repeat this kind of cheap acts again.

Regarding the party, I may feel little embarrassed with the stain on my dress initially, but try to put up with it and enjoy the party. After watching the main event, I will try to pull my self out of the party as fast as I can and go home. I will make an effort to clean the stain immediately [:P], as that would lessen my pain.