Entry 2 - Keerthi Cherukuri (US)

· Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

This is a very delicate situation and needs to be handled with care. I will go to his office when he's free and will explain what I heard. I will clearly emphasize that the only reason I came forward to tell him is because I have great respect for him and if I didn't, it might affect the future of our company and all our jobs. As his team member, I feel it is my responsibility to go to him with what I heard instead of keeping it to myself to see what may happen.

· Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

I will go to them and explain that both their son and I really wanted it to be a low key affair. But since they insisted that we have a grand house warming, we have come to a compromise. I will tell them that while it is out of question to invite every single person we know, they can invite some very important people with a max of X people from their side. They can decide the list. It's either that or just close family. The choice is theirs. I will mention that while I have nothing against their side of the family, we came to this decision solely on the fact that its just too expensive to invite a large number of people at this point. BUT (there's always a but) we can invite everyone to Pinky's (our imaginary daughter) first birthday which is only a few months away. Hopefully, the will agree to the latter and that solves our problem. Even if they don't, its just a limited number of people, so its not a big burden on us.

· Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I will call them into my office individually and ask them what exactly is their issue. I will explain to them that nobody is perfect and in a work environment you have to be civilized and work together. Since they are a part of a team, their bickering is not only effecting the quality of their own work, but also the rest of the team. While I will not reveal names, I have had several complaints from other members that they don't want to work on a project if both of them are on it. I will also boost their confidence by listing out their assets and how valuable they are to our team, but their true potential is being undermined as all their energy is being focused on their cat fights. They are both adults and should deal with their personal issues elsewhere and not in the office. I will tell them to have a fresh start and that I never want to hear anymore complaints and have this kind of conversation again.

· Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

This is a tough situation to handle especially since we are such close friends. First of all, I have to decide what is more important to me - my son's feelings or my friendship with X. As any mother, my child's feelings are definitely my top priority and I will NOT sit back and watch while he is being criticized. So, next time she says something to him I will intervene, take her aside and tell her that as much as I respect her I don't want her to criticize my son. I have started noticing that it is affecting his feelings, even though he doesn't say anything about it. If she feels he's doing something wrong then she should tell me when the kids are not around and if I feel its really a mistake, then I will explain it to him myself.

If she is really a very close friend, then even after 1-2 days of feeling bitter, she will understand and change. If she doesn't, then I will have to find another activity for my son during his usual playtime and start cutting down on our time with them. At the end of the day, what's important is the development of your child and no friendship is worth worrying about if its hindering his/her growth. You may guilty of ruining a good relationship but, its alright to grow apart after many years, and in this case healthy too.

· Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

Even though I will be mad and disappointed at what happened to my dress, I will not make a big deal out of it. I will try to clean it up as much as possible and TRY not to worry about it for the rest of the night. All the people at the party are my friends and they have seen the "accident" happen, so there is nothing to be embarrassed about. After all, it is a dress and is not worth losing your temper in front of so many friends and creating an awkward situation for everybody. Even though I still believe that she did it intentionally, I don't think trying to seek revenge is going to help. Instead it will only make me stoop to such a low level that there won't be any difference between us. So at the end of the night, before we leave, I will go to her, smile and say don't feel bad, you DIDN'T do it on purpose...and hope that if she has any conscience whatsoever, she should feel bad for her stupidity. I think that is enough for me.