Entry 27 - Visa Sriram

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:
The ideal way I would like to do is by talking to my boss and ask him if I could handle this account independently. That way he neednt know about his body odor. But since the question specifically states about giving the boss the feedback...hmmm... I really have to think hard. I really dont know if I would talk to my boss about his odor unless I have some kind of proof that the company is going to lose an account because of this issue. I cant act on hearsay or an impulse of a representative of the account. If I do, I strongly feel it would be detrimental to my very own growth in the organization. Most likely, clients of IT firm wouldnt pull out from contracts, that too at the risk of being penalized, all because the "guy at the IT firm" doesnt smell great. I dont know if I answered this one aptly but I really cant imagine going upto my boss and talk abt his/her odor.

Organizers Feedback:Counter questioning the authenticity of the situation presented is not an expected stance. This answer is disqualified.

Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
I would personally want a gala ceremony too but with budget constraints it is not really wise to do that. I would definitely tell my in laws that we have budget constraints and since they know how much we make and how much we spent on this home, they very well know we cant afford a very grand function right now. Any sensible in-laws would agree to a simple ceremony. But some inlaws, they really dont care about budgets. They want an opportunity to show off the wealth the son and his wife are making. Well in that case, I would have to be a little tactful. I would tell my in-laws that we too want to go the full yard...grand house warming, gifts, expansive lunch and dinner but not right now. I would tell them that I want to finish up decorating the house before throwing a lavish party. So let's have a simple house warmng with our close family members now and have the party 3 or 4 months later. Ofcourse am sure my inlaws would take the bait. They would be happy that I dint say no to their idea and would also agree it would be best to show off the home when it is fully decorated. And after 3 or 4 months, they would have either forgotton or if they remind me I would gently tell them that am zapped with work and dint get to decorating yet and am planning to invite everyone during Diwali. Around Diwali, I would say Sankranthi.....You get the picture right...I know..Am being cheesy but sometimes we need to be..for our own good.

Organizers Feedback: Many times such situations build what is called life skills and trust. This approach might work for in-laws who don’t understand but given that they are good people it would really cheat them and their trust on their son.

Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:
I would naturally set a one on one meeting with each of them individually and would also meet other coworkers in the team to get a feel of the undercurrents in the situation. I would ask them what exactly is bothering them . Am sure they would have a long list of grouses. I would strongly reiterate that TEAMWORK is important and wherever they work; irrespestive of another division or a company, they might have to interact with people who have different personalities. But rising from these issues and giving out the best for the team is what makes an employee, professional. That said, I would hint to both that I would be meeting them together the next time to help patch things up. I would call for a meeting with the three of us. In the meeting I would clearly state they need to be professional, set aside their grouses and work as a team. I would also make it a point that they understand that the project's success would determine our raises and promotions this performance period. I'm sure this would settle the matter as no one in this market would want to jeopardize their career and growth.
Organizers Feedback: Answered Well - good answer, Impressed.

Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:
Before confronting her or getting offended about this whole thing, I would talk with my husband and figure out if it is constructive criticism or not. If it is constructive and it is something for my son's good, we would work with our son and try to inculcate the trait in him. For a 4 yr old, improving their self esteem is easy. Hugs,kisses and abundance of verbal praise would go the trick. And kids being kids would forget all about it. And we can continue to be good friends with the other family. BUT if we feel that Ms.X is being totally unfair to our son, then I would feel very offended. Talking it out with her will never ever help because no one likes to be told that she is doing something that she shoul'nt be doing. So I could either resort to throwing her a subtle hint or end up planning activities for my son that does not include she and her son. The first one would be something like telling about another third person (known only to me), how she criticizes my son at every given chance and how it is affecting my son. If she takes the hint...Super! Else I really need to plan activities for son that does not figure her son. If the kids get along well, I would offer to drop and pick her son up for playdates at our home. But I do agree we would have to meet socially. That time, I would make sure I justify my son when the mighty lady begins criticizing my boy (only if I feel it is a baseless criticism). But not sternly...sweetly :) Like if she says" Hey boy, you dont know even this rhyme", I would reply (shrugging my shoulder)" Cant blame him! I dint teach him that but he sure knows "This old man". Naana would you recite it for aunty". I wouldnt like her much henceforth but for pretense sake...have to put up with her. As for my son, the less he interacts with her,the sooner, he'll regain his spark.

Organizers Feedback: Answered Well - good answer. I'm impressed.

Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)t

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:
Trust me, I would want to spill the entire bucket of sambhar on her holy head! Well, what we think is one and what we do is another. Atleast when it comes to social decorum. In this case, I would naturally say"Itz ok. It happens all the time. " (In my mind, I would be thrashing her ofcourse). Seeing all this drama unfolding, the host would rush to me. "Are you alright...Come, let me give you something to clean up". And there I go..trotting behind her. I would clean up and continue to have a good time at the party! Well...Atleast pretend to have a good time and be totally unaffected by the debacle. Oh I forgot...I would definitely huddle up with my close pal atleast for couple of minutes and curse that holy lady! Er, coming to the question, the best way to fix Ms.Green is to act like am totally unaffected and have a great time at the party! I would go the extra mile and be extremely social to all and sundry! And leave Ms.Green wondering if her idea of spoiling my suit really satiated her sicko jealousy!
Organizers Feedback: Too much sarcasm - remember the question was not how you felt - but what would you do. The underlying answer was good but unfortunately overshadowed by the feelings rather than the core action.