Entry 3 - Shruthi Vijay

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  Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

In this situation, though boss cannot take any negative comments, I would go and try to tell him what is going around office. This might take boss some time to understand but ultimately it is good for the company and the boss to whom I’m working. And only that matters at the end.

So on a good day, I will go to him and try to tell him the overheard conversation and try to explain him what customers were thinking about the next upcoming business. Knowing him personally and his nature, I’m sure might not be in a short run but in the long run he will see the difference and the words I said. If this affects me in short run, I will not be disappointed because I know the long run profit/vision and that day my effort will definitely be seen and everything will come to normal.

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  Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

In this case, it will completely depends on how I will convince them and how they want to take this. I will first go to them and try to explain the situation – how much cost is and what are the mortgage payments and the current financial situation. And also I will try to suggest or give idea that, once everything settles down like may be 1 year down the road, when we think that some of the payments got settled down, we will do some pooja like Sayanarayana Vratam or something like that and invite everyone for that pooja. And also if they think like if this is not the right idea, then ask them what they think after knowing everything.

If they get convinced, then that is well and happy. If they are not convinced or suggest something else, then I will definitely go with that. Because they are good people and can never think bad of their own family. And as elders of the family, we will definitely want to respect them and their ideas. If it will take a bit pain for us, it should be fine thinking this is another expenditure on the home. And be happy to do what they wish for.

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  Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

As a manager it is always my duty to help my people and make them happy with their jobs. So I will arrange a meeting with both as one-on-one meeting. And try to get what each of them think of the company, their job, their responsibilities and their colleagues.

After talking to them personally, I will conduct a meeting between three of us and put an open forum discussion telling them the situation and what our department is gaining or loosing because of these small issues and misunderstandings.

Since I know them personally, their strengths, their thoughts about the company and the department, I’m sure they will come to an understanding. They might not do this for themselves from heart but for the department wellness, but ultimately after working for sometime with such thinking and seeing the good results for the department and the recognition of themselves not only in the department but also in the company – they will change from heart and get their issues resolved permanently for good.

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  Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I will look for a time or take a time with X with no kids around and start a conversation with her reminding her all the good times. Then I will tell her the changes in their lives and how lucky they are being such good friends after marriage too. Knowing her nature, I’m sure she will be very happy to remember all those good times in this conversation. Then I will tell her what she is doing unrealized between children and especially how it is impacting my kid. Also listening to their conversation, how he is reacting at such a small age and how he is becoming reserved and losing his spark.

Since she is also a mom like me, she will realize and understand the situation. And this situation does not end here. I will then go to my kid and try to explain him that he is not a weak kid and he should be always strong, self confident and mingle with others, make friendship, play and always be happy. Also explain him that I’m there for him and also his father, family, aunties, uncles, etc. And try to explain him more frequently so that he will come out of the situation.

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  Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

In this situation, I will first try to calm myself. Because if I panic or try to get angry it will just create an embarrassing moment for both of us. Then I will go and try to clean my dress in a restroom. After this, I will go to that lady and will take her to a side and talk to her calmly saying that it is fine and you have accepted her apology and assure her that it is fine.

It is natural that everyone makes mistakes. That is understandable. If that spills are very light or it is ok for some time, I will be ok to deal with it and try to cover it with the dupatta. I it is a very big spill or if it cannot be covered with the duppatta, since the dinner already started, I will have that and try to start home early.

I’m sure host will understand my situation too.

No regrets with anything. This is just a dress. We can buy another one but once if there is a break in friendship it is hard to get them back.