Entry 12 - Naga Jyothi - Second Place

• Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

Fragrance is one of man's greatest enjoyments, bringing mind and creating a feeling of security, beauty and well-being. If bad odour is the situation, then I would discuss this with the boss in a more positive way rather than pointing out negativity of the issue.

I would start the conversation on nice ambience and how aromatherapy works wonders and soon after diverting the topic on personal front stating that I had a problem with bad odour in my previous workplace and resolved it soon after somebody pointed at me and I have taken that in a positive way and it made a very good change in building up confidence within myself and also had a good impact on customers as it is a retail based store and now in the present workplace also, people appreciate me in creating an aromatic environment whenever they come near me and also giving examples how fragrance and hygiene plays a major role in working environment and having pleasant customer feedback. At last telling him more household tips like aromatic bath and what perfume I am currently using to avoid bad odour

At last, saying that through smelling good, a variety of special feelings are transmitted...relaxation, stimulation, happiness, and achievement. Of all the senses, smell has the greatest impact on human emotions.

With this conversation, it will bring more curiosity in this subject and analyze his body smelling system and can bring a change in him and he would eventually change in a way or other.

• Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

The problem in this situation is about 2 issues, budgeting and other is keeping my relationship positive and makes them understand the situation and agree to my decision finally.

I will keep myself calm and relaxed and remember that this is our housewarming ceremony and we as a couple know more about the budget constraints than anyone self and we you should get what we want, as long as we do stay within your budget and can afford it. 1 First telling them that both extended families presence and having a ceremony in a traditional & spiritual way is what that matters to you both 2. Explain them about our finances and mortgage EMI issues and at this stage we don’t want to go overhead of our finance and we are keen to have a financial future in an economic instable situation like recession. 3. And they could invite their relatives on other occasions (few families at a time) like festivals or on vratham and gift them clothes and, it not only lessens the burden of spending on gifts such a clothes and catering and also we could attend the invitees in a more casual manner giving each family personal attention and make them happy, which at his stage is quite difficult for you as you have other pressures as well & you need more time to plan.

• Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

This is the case of conflict resolution and achieving organizing objectives as well. As the manager, my approach should be to resolve the situation without offending or alienating either one individual staff “
My goal is to keep everyone focused on solving a problem and not be sidetracked by personal or political issues. My 3 main strategies to work out this issue would be setting up an informal meeting with X and Y

• Asking them questions about their likes and dislikes for each other. Ask ‘likes’ first, what do you like in opponent staff? Coming up with a positive feedback from your foe(X about Y or Y about X) really works wonders and the other person starts have a more open conversation more and more and this could lead to developing more friendly relation among both of them.
• In that meeting clearly defining company’s mission and policies regarding work ethics and time management. The personal fights is getting the end result of deteriotion of work process and you would not want to happen this and praising their workman ship and how their contributed their efficiency in the past

This may take the form of meetings, negotiation/mediation sessions, or other dispute-resolution processes. Informal resolution of complaints at any stage of the process also provides managers with a no-fault, low- or no-cost means of restoring harmony and productivity to the organization.

Knowing the root cause of why other people dislike us makes ourself clearer in mind and helps us to grow, this kind of encounter brings relations together.

• Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

This situation has two issues to deal with, one is Jealousy and other one is my child’ stress towards being a victim of Jealousy. It is often a lack of self-esteem that causes women to attempt to constrain the behavior of their friends and signs of insecurities manifested into jealousy.

1.I will start the conversation stating that her son is very talented and she deserves all the praise raising him in such a manner and giving a small token of gift to his son for small achievement like reading rhymes kind of activities and clearly mentioning that kids when encouraged and appreciated , they showcase their talent more and tell her that my son is always very apprehensive for negative commenting, he is sensitive at nature and sometimes gets upset with negative feedback , giving example of her last comments regarding my son and be strong in saying that every kid has own kind of spark and at this age(4 years), they can’t be judged in negative way and 2 .Though its tricky to explain such issues at a tender age to my son, I will simply say that Aunty is upset these days and worried about something and don’t take remarks to heart and whenever she passes a remark, ask her how can I do better aunty, My mom always says you can teach very well. This kind of making self realization trick turns the situation better I think.

• Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

This situation has 2 issues to deal with, one is having a decent presence inspite of untidy clothes and other is fixing the jealousy caused to me by being perfect.

1. I will try to wrap my chunni in more fashionable manner so that the stain is not likely to visible.

2. Dealing with envious person can be quite challenging. In this situation I stop myself blowing up, thinking that there must be reason for her to be envy about you, Afterall, envy starts with lack of self esteem, insecurity, anger, not realizing self talents and fear. And people are more prone to envy when they are feeling all this. Empowering them is a good way to diffuse their envy rather than confronting.

I would start the conversation in subtle way of making her self realize the fact the every one has their own specialties. Starting my conversation by appreciating how good looking she is in her current dress and pointing out her positive points and saying that how so and so person appreciated her skills and looks. And asking her how she genuinely feels about my dress and helping her out in getting the details of the shopping, if starts reciprocating in a friendly manner with this conversation. And asking her opinion and advice on women’s shopping items…

This way she’ll sure realize how good she is when compared to me in other things and she would develop her confidence and self esteem and realize I am no way threat to her in outlook. In this way, I can also control my anger or agony regarding the situation but also can get self realisation from that person. If this does not work, it's better to distance your self in a peaceful way slowly over time.

To make somebody good is good than being good.

Entry 13 - Sirisha Devarapalli - Third Place

• Situation 1 - @ Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.

Problem Statement:

In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

I will be quite diplomatic. I generally do this a few times and would apply the same formula. In a casual chat with my boss over tea break or smoke, I will mention that I met someone who had real bad body odour. I will tell him that if I had to deal with him again I for sure would not go back because of the body odour however financially correct that may seem. I will also tell him that its strange that some people don’t use deodorants which has become quite common these days. I will also mention that most of us these days don’t just get satisfied with deos but are also using expensive perfumes which is emptying the pocket. I will have the entire chat very casually, smiling a couple of times without having a look which says that its intended at you so I am very shy looking into your eyes while I say this.

I believe that any feedback should be given in a manner where you do not intend to hurt the other persons feelings. As it is possible in this case that the boss has a skin allergy to deos or he never knew that he has bad body odour. When the boss cannot take negative feedback and you let him know indirectly that he could be the one spreading bad body odour, atleast the boss will be more careful from the following day. If he cannot use deos he might atleast try to use something else that helps or in the other case he might very well start using something to prevent body odour.

• Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:

You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:

At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?

Answer:

I will surely try to convince my In-Laws. If they are nice people it surely means they are approachable. I will mention to my mother-in law that there have been too many expenses with the construction of the house. I will also mention that it will be lovely to have all our relatives here for a couple of days too. I will also check with them on the idea of having a Diwali ceremony in the new house with all our relatives which would be a great occasion to shower them with some presents. The festival would be giving me and DH some time to settle our finances and it would also help in-laws stay happy that all their relatives are given gifts and new clothes. In case my in-laws are unhappy with my thought I shall go ahead and ask my husband to take a personal loan as when we have spent so much for the house and tried explaining the in-laws about the expenses and they don’t understand, someone has to make a compromise to have a peaceful environment at home.

If they are not happy on the house warming ceremony it will be a disaster, another once off expense in such a case is not a crime. In case in-laws are happy with my idea of waiting for the nearest festival to shower the relatives with gifts, everyone would be happy.

• Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:

Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:

These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I will have a meeting with both of them individually. I will try putting them on different deliverables. I will set strict deadlines for each one of them. During the individual meeting I will have to show them a carrot. I will have to tell them that if they intend to grow in the organization they will have t make sure that they maintain a cordial relationship with everyone in the team atleast. I will tell them that even if they would have to leave the organization or if they would fire the person with whom they cannot get along in the long run they might find many such employees who are terrificfor the job but might not get along with them personally.

I will try and explain to them that personal relationships do not bring you up the hierarchy but professional relationships do. I will have them understand that well so they get on with their jobs and even if they don’t talk to each other my deliverables are done on time. Because as a Manager I have to be selfish to some extent as its my teams reputation at stake.

• Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:

You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:

Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

Well now that is sure a difficult situation. If such a close friend of mine is behaving indifferent towards my kid, I will first try to understand if something is really wrong. If my friend is criticizing about the right things &if she is unable to put it in the right way and doesn’t want to discuss it in front of our husband’s. In such a case I shall ask her to be a little more softer towards the kid as she is like his foster mom and has all rights on the child. In case I get to understand that she is criticizing my child because he is better than her child in some way, I will try and explain to her that some children do take time to pick up things. If she is still the same and does not change her attitude I will make sure my child does not spend any time in front of her alone. I will try and pull in a few more friends of his from preschool for him to spend time with.

I would confront her directly because she has been such a close friend for so long. I still believe that atleast in my case if I have been so close to a friend for so long & their attitude has suddenly changed there must have been a reason for it. I will sure try to bring out the reason &settle it with her. If time seems to have changed her attitude I will not create a fight as they are family friends but try to maintain a distance in the absence of our spouses.

• Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:

You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:

As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I will cover my dress with my dupatta atleast partially to cover the stain of the food spilled over. As it was a beautiful dress there will be a lot of people through the party asking me what happened, I will make sure that when she is around me I mention to others that I had a lovely dress and this lady accidently spilled the sambar, I will then laugh out and say that I was thinking she is jealous and then say that I was just kidding. I will make sure that atleast everyone who asks me about my dress knows which lady spilled sambar. I will also try and add in a few comments here and there saying the place is not so crowded to think that someone pushed u around.

I might later feel a little bad thinking that I might have been rude but I cannot shout at anyone about anything so I will have to do things my way by being a little sarcastic that might give me atleast some peace of mind.

Entry 14 - Chaitra Reddy SD

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

Never Judge or accept anything that’s been overheard and not being said directly. Sometimes few things are said according to the context. We hear something in between and make our own conclusions. So it’s really not wise to convey anything that’s overheard to another person.
Organizers Feedback: We cannot ingore such an important message moreover the customer will NEVER tell such things directly. Situation not handled well.


Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:

Any problem or an issue could be fixed by just discussing it with the respective set of people and letting them know your exact situation. So here in this context, I would try to explain them our financial status and commitments. Would also tell them that, now we can go with a small ceremony and latter when we are out of this situation ,wud conduct a pooja at home and do the needful to all their kith and kin as per their suggestion later .
Organizers Feedback: The solution might be on the right track but the explantion was lacking.


Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

Being Manager its really very Important to set the right standards about the work completion status. Strictly let them know the dead line and the completion status.
Instead of trying to talk to them individually, get them together to a meeting room and talk to them. Let them openly talk to each other , so that they both are aware of this current situation and why this un acceptable behavior between both of them. And also let them know how its affecting the deliverables and deadlines.
I would put them for few team building programs, where they would really try to work together successfully as a team.
Organizers Feedback: The solution is not as detailed. However the Team building activities are a very good idea and in the long run would help solve the problem.


Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

When we say very good friends, it in itself says u r open enough to discuss any issue with her. In a calm way, I would explain to her about her habit and the way she deals with my kid. She too has a son , so would definitely understand how it affects a growing kid.
Organizers Feedback: It’s a good idea to be open to your friend. However the other person's reaction cannot be guessed. So you must prepare you child to handle criticism as well.


Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drives away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

First things first, would try to clean up the mess if it’s not too much. And as u r with common friends, it should not matter much if u can get it cleaned & Stay throughout the party.
Regarding the Jealousy lady, we cannot really teach anybody anything in life . Rather we can show them what is right by our own actions. If I leave the party,its very obvious that I gave up and let that lady accomplish what she really wanted to. So I would try to clean up the mess and still enjoy the party . It’s the friends with whom I am partying currently ,so it’s what I am that matters not how the dress looks .and moreover Dress looks good because I wore it and not that I look pretty only when I wear that particular dress. By doing this , she would definitely understand that such childish act won’t fetch her anything nor can she spoil someone’s day. It’s all up to u to see and deal with the situation.
Organizers Feedback: Very wonderful answer - well thought through and presented well - concise and precise.

Entry 15 - Haritha Annam

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

I would tell my my boss the following
Boss, I overheard the customer's complain about someones body odor impacting our business. Not sure about which team member they were discussing . So it would be better we call a team meeting and let everyone in the team know about this and we ourselves should also be careful about this since this might cause our business. We should just discuss about body odor, mouth odor, appropriate dressing, shaving and presenting ourselves neatly to the clients. This will impress our clients and enhance our business. So what do you think about it and when do you what me to schedule a meeting.
Organizers Feedback: This solution solves 2 things one you convey the message and you also convey you overheard a conversation. This is a good CYA strategy (Cover Your Ass). And your boss will then have to take it to himself to not only check his BA but the team's presense also.

Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:

I would talk to my attaiah about this
Attaiah, you know that your son has taken lots of loan for the house and monthly installments is big and its becoming a big burden for us. In this situation we don't think we can afford an expensive gruhapravesam. We were thinking something like a small ceremony because we will have to take one more loan for big cermony. I am not sure how you feel about this. But if you still think we need to have grand ceremony, we will understand and plan accordingly.
Organizers Feedback: The solution is good. However when you agree to their demands its impportant that you tell them about the financial burden. Explain your pain so that they understand their son's catch 22 situation.

Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I would invite both of them to my office and tell them
See both you guys are very important to the team and its very important that you guys get along and keep the project moving. I can noway have your personal differences affect the deliverables. If you guys have some problems come over to me and we can have it solved. I would not want you guys to talk directly. I want to be copied in all the email communication between you two. If you guys disagree with the other person and need to convey a message you should come to me. I will review the situation and convey the message if required. This is effective immediately.
Organizers Feedback: The solution is not pratical because you must not and cannot stop 2 people from communication with each other. It will only make their relationship bitter. Also you are makign yourself a bottleneck for their success - will backfire if you need to be absent at work.

Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I would talk to X about this openly when we are alone
See X, I know you love my son a lot and pass those negative comments thinking it will benefit him. But the thing is its being having a reverse effect on my kid and he has started feeling low about himself. So please try not put your opinions about him in front of him. I know that your like his foster mom and things you say mean for his benefit, so let me know the things. I will consider your comments and advices and make necessary changes if required. I would really appreciate if you dont make any negative in front of kids. Lets be positive and encourage what they do. It would make them feel appreciated and they will have fun.
Organizers Feedback: The Explanation to X is good and by far the most mature answer. However another half is missing - what will you do with your child. He needs to taught resilience and needs to be strong. That's an important part too.

Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I will immediately wipe the sambar of with a n wet tissue so that it doesnt leave a mark. I would really get upset and ask my husband if we can leave since I wont be able to be social after that. If my hubby and kids are having fun, I would adjust in the party with the same dress for a while like 1 hr not more than that.
I will politely tell my friend that I am going to send her the bill for dry cleaning (hopefully the stain should be removed)
Organizers Feedback: It might not be possible to give the person a dry cleaning bill because you think she dropped sambar. What if it was really accidental. Our preceptions are not always true.

Entry 16 - Jalaja Rani Boppana

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

In a conversation, I will bring the topic about the new deodorant in market and will talk about the positive effects (like describing about the brand, fragrance)of trying the deodorant and will try to influence him about that product. I would say that my friends tried it and they liked it, you must try it too. It adds up to your confidence and brings a great feel. I will say if you try it, Your wife will be impressed too.
Organizers Feedback: Not all men in general are comfortable discussing such lady-like topics. Unless in a general context you will end up making a non-fruitful conversation. Also never bring his wife into office context unless you know her personally.

Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:

I will try to convince them to reduce the cost for housewarming. I know that it’s been a while since we had all the family and friends together, but since this was our dream home we had to spend a little bit more than we have planned for since it’s one time investment and now if we have to spend more money on housewarming and party, all the money from our pocket goes to the mortgage and loan for the party and there won’t be any savings later. I think we should just do housewarming with near and dear ones and invite all the family and friends at a later time once we have settled in the house and after furnishing the house. I don’t want to disappoint you now but I feel this is the best decision at this moment when it comes to money spending. Give it a thought.
Organizers Feedback: This answer has been dealt with well. All problems have been stated and you have shown respect and their position has been retained.

Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

Since I know that both of them have unique strengths and work best within the department, I will have separate meetings with them and find out their interests about this particular project and will distribute the work equally among them and ask them to finish the tasks on time. Once they have completed their assigned tasks, I will setup a meeting and go over the tasks they have accomplished and talk about each person’s strengths and ask them to work on integration if need be. This makes the project delivered on time.
Organizers Feedback: The solution is very task specific rather than the conflict. Since it doesn't probe into the condition of conflict such solutions work at the periphery but the quality of work suffers.

Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:

I will bring this topic with X when kids are not around .I wanted to talk to you about the kid being reserved and not being active like before. I consider you as a very close friend and I really appreciate you observing my kid and taking care about him. If you think something needs to be changed with him, let me know beforehand so I can talk to him and explain the same to him on why he needs to change. I have been noticing that he is being reserved with people and not being active like before .I have noticed that he is being very dull and disappointed when we say something to him directly. Since I consider you as the best advisor and I want our friendship to be the same and I want to keep making suggestions when needed so kids can be close like before.
Organizers Feedback: There are 2 things here - the explanation is more on the kid's behaviour than her feedback. You have to be clear that you are targeting the friend and not the child. Also a dialogue with the child to make him strong is important.

Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:

I will be very disappointed as my dress is spoiled. I will try to wash the piece of cloth on the Salwar where SAMBAR was spilled. If I can clean it and if it doesn’t leave a stain that looks very odd on my dress, I will continue my stay in the party by hiding the stain with dupatta. If the dress cannot be cleaned and looks very odd, I will talk to the friend who invited to the party and will leave early explaining her the situation saying I will meet her at a later time.
Organizers Feedback: This answer addressed only half of the question without a mention to the other half. Incomplete answer.

Entry 18 - Niharika Janagama

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:
In this particular situation, I don’t see one specific answer which would correct the problem and at the same time maintain my rapport with my manager. I have come up with few solutions, which I think I would implement if ever I am faced with the above mentioned problem.
If it is a small IT firm with a head count near to 100, then I would say that everyone works closely and HR would also be close to my group. I would try and speak with the HR person and let them know the situation. HR maintains all these complaints very confidential. I can request them to come up with a new policy, stating that everyone working closely with the company customers need to dress formally and look their best with nice odour , clean hair etc.,. This policy can be emailed to everyone and awareness can be bought. This would not affect my manager personally as this is a companywide policy and he might start taking care of his bad odour.
Just tell him over lunch that, you heard from one of your trusted resources that the client who you are going to meet are very particular about the physical appearance and suggest that we get ready very formally and be our best. As a girl, let him know that you have few tips and let him know about using perfume along with some other tips such as tie/ironed shirts etc., Also, inform others as well about your tips who work with your team for the same customer . This way manager does not get any hint that it was intended for him and he understands that you are trying to help the entire team to put their best foot forward for working with the client. Also, I would suggest few perfumes so that he purchases a good one.
Gift him a nice perfume on his birthday / occasion saying it is a very impressive one.

Organizers Feedback:Going to the HR for such a trivial issue may be seen as an escalation and if for some reason the HR chooses to divulge your name you would have broken the trust with your BOSS.

Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
After analyzing the situation and understanding how particular my in-laws are about the function, I would take a decision. If I feel that they are very particular about the function, and as my DH too is okay with it, I will try to organize the function. I would agree with them but just not get overboard with all the stuff. I would agree for a good party and send invites to everyone but give gifts and clothes a pass. The main aspect of dealing this situation would be to deal it with patience. I would like to minimize the cost occurring to the function as much as possible and at the same time try to please my in-laws. Minimizing the cost of the function can be done in many ways depending on the family such as serving only vegetarian food and no non-vegetarian food and booze.
I would try to speak with in-laws and tell them that everyone is very jealous of our house and now giving a big party will draw unnecessary attention and bad will. Also, I will try to convince them in giving gifts only to our close people rather than everyone invited to the party in turn decreasing the budget of the party. I would try my level best and put in complete effort to leverage both our monetary requirements and in-laws requests and find a balance between both of them.

Organizers Feedback: Well answered covered all angles. Also explained well on why she would do what she stated.

Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?
Answer:

As a manger, I would step in and take up the role of solving the situation amicably. Again, there is not one correct way of solving this issue. I would take the following steps:
I will try to closely monitor them and as a manager. I would try to clearly segregate their duties with in the project and give them specific deliverables so that they don’t step on each other’s work. With daily updates and team huddles, I would monitor the progress of their work. I would try to delegate the work and if I sense that there is a trouble, I would intervene before the situation would get out of hands. I would ask them to CC on all their emails, so that I get a clear picture of what is happening.
If I am not able to manage my time to do all this work, I will try to pick another team mate who is politically neutral and peaceful to observe these 2 people in general as well as during the team meetings and report to me the exact situation if there is a problem. This way, I get a third opinion as well before I come to a conclusion and resolve the situation. I will try to maintain my details with the third person confidential.
If there is a decision making issue, where the two of them are not agreeing with each other, I will try to analyze both their arguments. I will try to come up with the advantages and disadvantages of both their choices, the after –effects of the option selected, try to make them write on a white board and weigh one option against the other. Will try to solve the situation diplomatically and give the necessary technical reasoning of going with the option once finalized. This helps in maintaining a healthy competitive relationship.
In spite of doing all this, if the situation is not controllable, then not only as a manager, but as a friend, I would try to talk to each of them separately and find out the root cause of their problems/issues. I will try to emphasize on their strengths and positive aspects and let them know that their reviews might suffer because of their relationship skills. Will try to imbibe in them the team player skills and as a friend, manager and guide suggest them to find solutions to the problems rather they becoming the problem.
Organizers Feedback: Exceeded line limit

Situation 4 - @Friend Circle
Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colleagues and you got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:
IF I feel, that X is criticizing my child, then I would definitely find a way to solve the issue. I don’t think speaking with X would matter, coz she might completely disagree with me and more over our relation could worsen stating that I have accused her of scolding my kid. Also, the problem will not be resolved if I started to behave the same way with her kid. Rather, I would go in the peaceful way and try to praise and compliment her kid. As, she has been my good friend for the past 5- 6 years, she is definitely not a bad person. I feel she is behaving in such a way because she must have become insecure with the kids (or) competitive as children are growing up. I would try to praise her kid and at the same time, try to show my kid’s skills and activities. This would definitely help her understand that she will not achieve anything by criticizing my kid. I will demonstrate that I like both the kids equally and make her understand that there is no real competition between the kids.
At the same time, I would also speak with my kid and find out if he is feeling bad about what X is commenting on him. I would try to tell him to be nice and play with his friend without worrying about the aunt.
Organizers Feedback: Since there are no right or wrong answers your choice to not speak with X is aceptable. Also you have stated you would speak to your child. So I liked your answer

Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:
First and foremost, I will try to wipe all the sambhar spilled on my dress and clean it as much as possible. Then, I know there is no way of proving that the lady has spilled it intentionally or by mistake. There is no point in blaming or accusing the person as this will only worsen the situation even more and become further embarrassing and spoil the party. I would try to maintain my composure and try to enjoy the rest of the party with my other friends. I would try to ignore the person who spilled the sambhar and try to distance myself until I get convinced that the incident was a mistake. Also, it is mentioned that she is not one of my friends; I would try to find out more about her from my common friends before coming to a conclusion.

Organizers Feedback: Fine Answer.

Entry 19 - Pushpa Gadde

Situation 1 - @ Work Place
Background:
Imagine you are working in an IT firm. Your Job involves meeting with several customers along with your Boss. Your Boss is a good man and he is very supportive of your role and gives you a lot of space to grow. However he is not very good at receiving negative feedback.
Problem Statement:
In a recent customer interaction you have heard customer’s complain about your Boss’ bad body odour. They were saying that if they have to deal with it again they will consider stopping business. You overheard this conversation and were not given this feedback directly. How will you give this feedback to him such that the situation is corrected?

Answer:

I would indirectly try to talk about this matter with my boss. This is how I will tell a story:
“One of my friend recently got kicked out of his company for a very ridiculous reason. He is very hard working and is always on time for any delivery. He is very sad and don’t know what to do now, but then when I think as his boss/the owner of the company I would also have done the same thing. He is a chain smoker and smokes all the time. Due to this his mouth stinks and it is hard for people to sit around him. Even as a friend I find it hard sometimes. The company was about to lose their client. He can do anything when he is in his home, but he should be careful that it is not affecting his work at his workplace. I feel sorry for him, but I feel he is himself responsible for this loss of his job.”
I would also gift him a perfume bottle and say that it would be nice if he uses it. And would compliment him for smelling good everyday I meet him for smelling good.
Organizers Feedback: Direct communication is always better. Smoking and BO are very diffficult to relate to.

Situation 2 - @ Home

Background:
You live in the same city as your in-laws and have recently bought a new home. This is your dream home and you have spent a little more than what you had planned to because this is a one-time investment and a few more thousands every month in mortgage was ok for this home. Now that the house is ready you have to consult your In-Laws (DH’s parents) for the house warming ceremony. Your in-laws are nice people and your relationship with them is cordial. (there are some grouses but that’s normal and nothing major).

Problem Statement:
At a dinner table your in-laws clarify that they want a GRAND house warming with all relatives – gifts and clothes in order. They have stated clearly that it has been a long time since they called any of their kith and kin and this is an opportune moment. You are totally shocked and upset because you want a simple home ceremony and want to minimize the cost of this event since you went overboard buying the house.

When you talk to you DH his comment is “Talk to them and convince if you can. I am ok either ways it will mean another personal loan but I would rather have a happy after math. Whatever you do I don’t want a fight in the family and want a happy situation so I leave it to you. Either adjust or convince. I will be neutral.”

What will you do – Agree to them or convince them and how?
Answer:
Talk to them and convince them that it is going out of budget, in case if they feel strong that the ceremony should be GRAND, will ask help in budgeting and partial funding for the cost.

Organizers Feedback: Inadequate Explanation and reasoning

Situation 3 - @Work Place

Background:
Imagine you are a manager with 2 people reporting to you. Both of them have their unique strengths and need to work together to get the required result for you and the department. There are no other people with similar skills in your organization.

Problem Statement:
These two people could set a meeting to fire with their spats. They DO NOT get along well at all and a majority of you time is getting wasted addressing their interpersonal issues. Initially you thought these are small personality differences, but now its impacting your deliverables and putting your department in RED. You have to find a solution to this and ensure the tasks are completed on time. At the same time remember that it is not easy to find a replacement so it’s important to make them both feel important.

How will you solve this situation?

Answer:
First of all just want to remind them individually, that this is not a kid’s play area. Even after that if there is a confrontation in the meeting, will remind and tell them that it can be discussed offline in one-on-one meetings. If they have to discuss their differences over a topic, I will ask each of them to come with data to prove their point of view, instead of arguing.

Organizers Feedback: Any conflict situation needs probing. Warning will work but the solution needs to address the root cause of the problem.

Situation 4 - @Friend Circle

Background:
You and X are very good friends. Our husbands are colelagues and You got married at the same time and met as their wives. You have become good friends over these years. Your children are both 3 months apart and are 4 years old. You are really family friends and have known each other for the past 5-6 years now. You both have 1 boy each. The children play and study together.

Problem Statement:
Of late you have observed that X criticizes your son whenever you and she are alone with the kids. When your DHs are around she is very sweet and is complementing him but when you are alone and the kids are playing she is spitting a list of negatives about your child (when he is around). Initially you didn’t mind it since you consider her a foster mom. But you have started seeing you child becoming reserved and losing his spark in her presence.

Your DH has told you – “This is a matter between the women. I cannot fight with X’s husband for it. It will be silly. So find a way to discuss with her and solve it.”

PS: As a family you people are very close and cannot avoid X. You don’t want to break your friendship. But you have to correct this situation. How will you solve this situation?

Answer:
This looks very simple/silly, but this is a very sensitive issue. In this case you need to be more jovial to point out that she is being too harsh on the boy. Telugulo dabainchatam antaaru(navvutu). This way your kid will get confidence that you are his side, and you are going back him up.
If it has to be corrected, tell him in a soft voice and give him a reason. And ask her if we could talk about something else that interests both of us.
Organizers Feedback: Annintiki dabaisthe the kid will think whatever I do is safe ani - that's incorrect. So taking and setting expectations are a better solution :)

Situation 5 - @A Party (Social Circle)

Background:
You are at a party with some common friends. One particular lady is envious of your dress and has made it obvious that you are looking unexpectedly pretty. You are secretly happy because this is your precious find and your love your dress (it’s a SALWAR SUIT) with all the heavy work.

Problem Statement:
As a part of the party dinner this lady accidentally spills SAMBAR on your dress. She apologizes profusely but you feel it was intentional. When you look around you don’t find another lady with your height and weight so chances of a dress change are remote. Your house is 2 hrs drive away.

How will you live through the party? How will you fix this jealous lady for this embarrassment caused to you?

Answer:
This is a tricky situation, you don’t want to yell at her and become a center point in the Party or you can’t ignore that she spoiled your dress and your party mood.
One way this can be handled is clean up as much as you can, and jokingly when ever you face her tell her (loudly) that she is careful with her SAMBAR. Not in this party and any party that is coming up, until she backs down in even thinking about such a thing later.
If some body asks about that marks on your dress, tell them that she (take name) accidentally spilled SAMBAR on your dress and keep feeling bad about your dress.

Organizers Feedback: Again this is a perception that she did it on purpose, assumign she didn’t do it and its an accident you will make a fool of yourself telling everyone and will look vindictive. So be very caution. A lot of times - "What you feel is not what it is".